Sonnet 1 - Justin Flood Peering through the glass pane, and seeing the distant view. Everything from violence to pain and everything else in vain, You saved my world and here is what ill do. I write to you, to show I love you. Sonnets, Love stories, Drawings and more, what more could I want from you, but to sit around and adore. Busy highway, and starry mathematical night, You plus me equal two. Multiply by love and divided by lives, All that means that will stick like super glue. You just need to stand where you are dear, I'll just smother you in love and emotional tears.
Amazing Poem KB. Line with "super glue" made me chuckle though xD. last line, where you say "Smoother you" isn't it smother? or am I just reading it wrong?
tbh when i wrote it it was Smother, however when I typed it, the spell-check made smoother. So im not sure lol, but i do think it is smother so ill change it
jaw drop amazing! To have someone save your world, to make you happy, to simply bring the joy of life back into you... is nigh impossible to express, and yet here you have done so in the first stanza. I kid you not, i am crying as i write this, for the same has happened to me, and your writings bring these emotions to life. the second two stanzas had amazing rhythm to them. it almost felt like a song reading them. all i can say is wow. Expression through words, words coming from love. this brings out the most powerful writings one could ever write. this is great, good job kb.. -knight
Grrr. You win. I went over this for like 5 minutes trying to find some aspect of it that failed to meet the qualifications for a sonnet, but you met them all.
Thanks guys again means alot being this was the first one i ever wrote. (Also to being I learned what a sonnet was on the same day i wrote this lol)
Just the smallest grammar nitpick, as I can't help you improve on the poetry/artistic side of things, multiply is in present tense, while divided is in past tense. You might want to change them to be more compatible, though it isn't necessary. That is if it doesn't mess up flow, syllables, or what you actually meant to put. Otherwise, I really enjoyed reading it, and was quite surprised that it was your first.
They were like that for a reason. Multiply by love (meaning we have each other now) and divided by lives (we are divided/separated by completely different families and different rulings) Thats why i wrote it that way.