Snowstorm Alpha

i would work on the script a bit more, the dialouge is a bit cheesy, also the voice acting needs to be worked on, the guy at the beggining didn't sound very scared and it seemed like a hushed sort of yell. you need to put more emotion and feelin ginto the voice, also a bit of music would help, you have the entire hal 3 soundtrack to use and i'm sure you could find something. for the begginig intro i would record a bit of sounfd from avalanche and play it over the intro the text part was kind of plain without any sound. try some cinimatic angles as well, don't just go for one angle for a shot, move the camera around, for the shooting scene try to include the enemy in one of the shots with the fighter as well maybe take a shot from behind the guy and have the banshe fly in circles, kepp working at it you'll get it soon, also i liked the holy calamity idea better, it was more original.

 

I'll come right out and say it. I didn't/couldn't finish it. Sorry, but its the truth, and don't take it the wrong way. So, let me just point out a few major issues.

First off, never, and I mean never have text openings and closings. NEVER. Immediately audience doesn't care, because what is the point of watching if you have to read to catch up on the plot? I didn't read it. You watch video for the sake of not reading (short of subtitles and stuff, but that is fine). So, take it out. Have a voice over, have a character speak it, or just cut it out all together, just don't have text openings, or closings for that matter.

Second, the voice acting is what made me close the video... well partly. It was flat, forced, and unemotional. Also, deep voices = no no. Don't modify voices like that, only for explainable reasons such as their voice being heard over the radio or something. Find some voice actors who will get into it. Some members hear would love to help, I'm sure, or go over to the machinima forums to find some. However, onto point 3.

Work on the script. Actors can't act if they can't get into their character. Lines will sound forced, if they are forced on the page. Not to mention, you won't get better voice actors if your script doesn't attract their attention. First, make sure you are properly formatting scripts. Get in that habit. I recommend Celtx (google it) it is great and it is free. Second, read your script out loud to yourself. If you can't say the line the way you envision it, your actor won't be able too.

Silence. This is qay to quite. From voices to audio, bleh. First thing that is missing, music. Get music man, trust me it can either make or breakt he mood. Here is a great resource I go to, full of free music compositions.
FXhome.com :: View topic - The Ultimate Filmmaker's FAQ 5! Articles/Links/Tutorials!
Also, lay down your own audio tracks. Halo 3 in game sound is fine, but if you want it to "pop" you need to lay down your own sounds and foley.
Professional Sound Effects Library and Royalty-Free Production Music
Great site, alot of free sounds. Yes, it says to pay for them, but all you have to do is select to preview the sound, and save the quicktime as a source and you got yourself a useable mp3 file.

So ya, a little bit of advice I typed up that will fix many issues that this had. Check out my blog, it has one entry so far, but I am hoping there will be more shortly.

 

Pretty much what he said, he took the words out of my mouth (or fingers). All I can say the voice acting and emotion needs some work, as well as maybe a soundtrack and better, more diverse camera angles for a more dramatic feel. I would also rewrite the script, as it's a little cheesy as it is, and try to beef it up a little. 2 minutes isn't much of an episode. The end didn't really have much direction either. Just keep working. All the best.