Well my main concerns are: - Is it too hard to understand? - Is it entertaining enough to keep the reader interested? - Is there anything that detracts from reading it? - Are the longer footnotes too distracting, and should be pruned/moved into the narrative? On the third one, this mainly arose from the technical fact that most people don't use any footnotes in their letters, only in books and whatnot, and that caught my initial proofreader confused. So that and anything else really, I want this to read as smoothly as possible. The fourth note is really just a general thing, since people will read the story different ways (some read the footnotes while they read the narrative, others read it after the fact, or after a specific sections, others disregard them entirely). Once I get more feedback I may have some more detailed bits that need tweaking or at least consideration (depending on what's said, seems to be fine at the moment), in which case I'll air further concerns here. Or if they're very detailed, emails.
Can you PM me the story? Even if it's too late for me to critique anything I'd love to read it. I remember your initial thread awhile back when you were asking for some ideas relating to time travel. I would really like to see what you cooked up.
- Is it too hard to understand? Well, like I said earlier, it does get a little wordy in some sections, but you know my thoughts on that. I admit that I had to jump to Dictionary.com once or twice, but I understood about 97% of it. Im not trying to sound arrogant, but others may not, unless specified. - Is it entertaining enough to keep the reader interested? I thought so, yes. I got quite a few lol's out of it, and the premise was great. It doesnt stay on certain sections too long, which is good and also indicative of the "off-hand casualness" of the authors narrative. - Is there anything that detracts from reading it? This comes back to the verbosity mentioned earlier. I think it suits the story well, but those who are not prepared for it may be frightened by its complexity. I like that it doesnt dumb anything down, but that being said, others may not see it as approachable. Its a testament to the fact that people these days are accustomed to having their hands held when it comes to theater, art and literary works, and its a breath of fresh air to read something that actually makes me think for a change. - Are the longer footnotes too distracting, and should be pruned/moved into the narrative? I think the footnotes are great, and are a good device to expand on the back story. I read them as I was reading the main text, so they added to the story as a whole rather than acted as a distraction or a side-story. This is just me and my opinion though, but I think they should be left intact, as they are. Some people may read them afterwards, or not at all, but they are an optional addition, in my opinion. You'll probably have already submitted the story by the time you read this, however, I hope it gives you a bit more insight into my thoughts about your work. Once again, though, nice job and good luck!
Well that's reassuring, lol. I'm going to Disneyland today, so I probably won't send it in til I get back, if that. On the very likely chance I don't, I'll be sending it in tomorrow morning.
Lolz, now yoo gUyz r hookd. All it took was a few good reviews and the pidgeo... I mean, prospective readers, come flocking in. ;D
Let me know what happens regarding the submission. Im interested to see what they think (if they send you back a critique of their own). Do you get anything (apart from your work being published) for getting your work published?
Money. Possible book deal considering how hard it is to get in. I'm going to start working on a novel in a few days, after I finish a comic book script lol.
Submitted it a few minutes ago, should hear back within three months. Thanks for your help guys. I may use this method in the future, but in the meantime, this is LOCKED.