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Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Jex Yoyo, Aug 31, 2011.

  1. Jex Yoyo

    Jex Yoyo POETRY, bitch.
    Senior Member

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    See my
    Tears
    of
    Sorrow
    Fill my eye
    Leaving me to die
    To lock away my pain inside
    Hopelessly alive
    And I cry

    Tears of
    Pain
    And
    Boredom
    Taking me
    All that I can see
    Screaming forever to be free
    Reaching out and grasping at a chance to really be
    Plainly whining where all can see
    Caught inside my dreams
    Leave me be

    I need
    A
    New
    Purpose
    Obsession
    Now directing me
    Discovering a will to be
    Wondering if it will finally be verily
    A final memento to claw away the world of differing instability
    Thinking that it may be my best chance to grasp at greed
    A chance to see all that I need
    Gently calling me
    Silently
     
    #1 Jex Yoyo, Aug 31, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2011
  2. Aschur

    Aschur Wubba lubba dub dub
    Forge Critic Senior Member

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    Methinks its good, we need more poetry around here.

    only thing I can see is maybe you should change "obsessing" to "obsession" it seems to have a better ring to it IMO, but its not really a problem, more like a preference.
     
  3. Jex Yoyo

    Jex Yoyo POETRY, bitch.
    Senior Member

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    Epifail, thats what it was supposed to be!
     

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