A song I wrote *need feedback*

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by The God of Grunge, Aug 3, 2008.

  1. The God of Grunge

    Banned

    Messages:
    993
    Likes Received:
    20
    Ah, citizens of forgehub. I need your opinions on a song I have been writing all day. first off, the important stuff.

    The Title=Hang Your Hopes.

    Chord Progression
    Verse=G/D/C/Em
    Chorus=D/C/G/A#

    Lyrics (with chords for first verse and chorus.)

    (Verse)
    G___________ D_____ C______ Em
    Nothing ever works out
    Just face it, your basically screwed
    You know you can't ever win
    So quit before you lose

    (Verse)
    I'm not gonna fake it
    I don't care anymore
    I don't know how to take it
    I don't know what to do

    (Chorus)
    D_________C
    It never seems
    G_________A#
    Broken dreams
    Work out for you
    or for me
    so hang your hopes
    Tighten the noose
    just quit now
    you got nothin' to lose

    (Verse)
    I guess I'll just sit here
    Nothin' else to do
    I don't feel like it
    I'm not in the mood

    (insert chorus here)

    Please give me constructive comments. No flaming.

    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
    #1 The God of Grunge, Aug 3, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2008
  2. TiiRent

    TiiRent Ancient
    Senior Member

    Messages:
    277
    Likes Received:
    0
    Its hard to tell how good it is without an actual recording.
     
  3. The God of Grunge

    Banned

    Messages:
    993
    Likes Received:
    20
    'yeah, I sort of realized that. Take a guitar and strum it out yourself, I don't live in a studio. I ment the lyrics too.
     
  4. l 1337 Hax0r l

    l 1337 Hax0r l Ancient
    Senior Member

    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    The lyrics seem good. But I know nothing about guitar. So if you could just record you playing or have someone do it I would have better feedback.
     
  5. TheYavimayan

    TheYavimayan Ancient
    Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,021
    Likes Received:
    0
    did you mean loose or lose
    loose - not rigidly fastened or securely attached
    lose - to fail to use : let slip by : <no time to lose>

    I know loose is a better rhyme, but it doesn't make sense
     
  6. The God of Grunge

    Banned

    Messages:
    993
    Likes Received:
    20
    lose. I fail at spelling.
     
  7. M.Jelleh

    M.Jelleh Ancient
    Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,711
    Likes Received:
    0
    You should really record yourself. Most windows computers have windows sound recorder in the applications. Just get a microphone and record your song.
     
  8. The God of Grunge

    Banned

    Messages:
    993
    Likes Received:
    20
    I don't have a microphone. I'll work on getting one.
     
  9. Norlinsky

    Norlinsky Guest

    I could srsly hear these lyrics on a song I hear on the radio. Wow...
     
  10. monkeyrantz

    monkeyrantz Ancient
    Senior Member

    Messages:
    498
    Likes Received:
    1
    thats pretty good, i like it. i would actually listen to that! if you have a video camera you can use that too, just upload to youtube.
    through in a couple more verses.
    in verse one, i think you should change "so quit before you lose"
    to "so just quit before you lose"
    but whatever, ur song man, i like it
    private message me if you ever do record it. i will also be regualary checking out this post.
     
  11. The God of Grunge

    Banned

    Messages:
    993
    Likes Received:
    20
    yay. I have fans now. Will do. I'm working on the melody.
     

Share This Page