What Are You Working On?

That's such an Xzamples thing to do. Come in 10 pages into an exiting discussion, read literally nothing, and post some stupid ass opinion that has been addressed already in 100 different ways.

 

I wish I could go back 5 years and talk some sense into myself

But then again without the experience would I have learned anything?

Unfortunately in 5 years I am going to say the same thing about right now, and that is inevitable no matter how I approach the next 5 years

For the record if I could go back 5 years... Would not have purchased MCC and quit halo then

 

Don't ignore your convictions and tell the truth. It sounds simple enough, but I promise that you don't have to run face first into brick walls to learn if you're careful.

 

Run your bricks over

 

You know, none of this would be a problem if we all just focused our sexual frustration on hentai. Then, and only then, can we pool each other's thought and willpower into one day making anime chicks a reality.

 

Brick walls do make good teachers though when the the latter care is absent.


My favorite lessons to learn are the ones where you remember someone explicitly and meticulously warned you, and yet you still do it for years until you break the glass house yourself.


Ahhh the pride of youth

 

The Crowley approach.

 

God’s gonna Sodom and Gomorrah us bro.

 

TIL ForgeHub has god-fearing atheist members. Mild shock.

 

I consider myself spiritual, but I don't follow any religion. I feel humans crave narrative and more importantly rules, and that's where modern religion comes from. God is not something you can boil down into a book or two. Being a good person and good human is more than following a book. As long as you have love in your heart, keep an open mind and have your moral compass set right, you don't need live in fear of a higher power.

 

I think where we are diverging is in the argument that casual sex is definitively linked to unplanned Parenthood and then that argument and its potential repercussions get argued instead of the actual topic of casual sex.

I would be very surprised to see any statistic that stated the majority of unplanned parenthood came from casual sex. I think it far more realistic that the majority of unplanned parenthood came from two people that were at least skirting a true relationship if not within a full-blown relationship.

That may not be so for third world countries or poverty-stricken regions but the average first world country with plentiful supply for birth control would have a far lower rate a casual sex leading to unplanned Parenthood.

Let's put these two topics in their own category because the arguments are quite different for each.

 

Context absolutely matters @Xandrith ; @MULLERTJE you are absolutely right. Have you considered your own location and historical context?

Spoiler: ask me to provide links and I will do my best to find them again

FACTS:
The birthrate in the Netherlands is currently listed as 1%. That's down from basically 2% (replacement level) in 1966, at the onset of the modern sexual revolution. The birth outside of wedlock rate is on an upward trend as well. The rough marriage rate has dropped by 50% since 1970 as well, and the divorce rate has quadrupled in the same time period - and those that are marrying are choosing to marry much later. That's a cursory glance at some very publicly listed statistics.
Self-restraint when it comes to substance use may be better in general than in countries where there are harsh penalties for substance abuse, but nonetheless there is far more usage overall, and more access to the substances that do indeed affect brain development in the young (women up to 18-20, men up to 25 and maybe more). Substance usage is at least accepted as the norm in metropolitan Netherlands (am I wrong? I'm not counting the Calvinist conservatives or other religious groups that forbid the use, or caution against it).
Sex education, while pretty sensible in terms of mechanism and biology nevertheless encourages sexuality and paints it as a 'fun thing' to do (yes, with someone you love - but still it is 'fun', and easily accessible to the adult).
To top it off, in your universal basic insurance market as of 2006, all prescription medicines are covered at the entry level, by law. Every citizen must purchase insurance, by law. This insurance would therefore make most STD treatments, psych meds, painkillers, etc. that someone might need when engaged in casual sexual encounters, available at nearly no overhead cost to the entire adult population.
The Netherlands had the highest contraceptive sterilization rate in the entire western world (as of 1981) by a good 5%, at 20% of the population, a procedure that was covered in the mandatory/subsidized insurance market.

BRIEF ARGUMENT:
Just because you have cheap condoms, free STD clinic care, and Weed Bar Bicycles propped up by the wealth generated by heavy art, banking/financial, tourism, and Oil/Lego money after the last world war doesn't mean your country is immune to the effect of sexual licentiousness.

OPINION:
Though it may not be my place to tell you this in the radically subjective world we now inhabit, you disrespect the history and very religious outlook of your forefathers (I assume you are Dutch by blood?), the ones that built the nation you currently enjoy the fruits of. Your country is now famous for having open weed bars, legal prostitution, gambling, and sex bars, for essentially having an open wound of a cultural center. What does this tell you about the 'open mind' of the Dutch people?

Your people are slowly fading away and all ~you~ (generally speaking) have to say for it is that serial monogamy while wining and dining the hours away on the canal, in the pubs, in the sex clubs is fine: it's nonconsensual polygamy that bugs me!

"I'm upset!"
- Drake, 2018

 

@icyhotspartin I understand all the points made. My statement about moral objection wasnt a direct response to anyone. I also believe its impact on society isn’t inherently negative just because it can result in problems that plague society.

@MultiLockOn Thats such a multi thing to do. Make stupid comments based on your wrong assumptions. Morality, as was pointed out by spartin, wasnt really being discussed.

 

I'm always serious

 

BUMPS

 

@Xandrith @icyhotspartin

Food for thought.

https://www-psychologytoday-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201506/what-are-the-psychological-effects-casual-sex?amp_js_v=a1&amp_gsa=1&amp&usqp=mq331AQCCAE=#amp_tf=Van %1$s&ampshare=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201506/what-are-the-psychological-effects-casual-sex&ampshare=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201506/what-are-the-psychological-effects-casual-sex&ampshare=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201506/what-are-the-psychological-effects-casual-sex

Just for fun.

https://matadornetwork-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/matadornetwork.com/abroad/15-differences-dutch-friend-american-friend/amp/?amp_js_v=a1&amp_gsa=1&usqp=mq331AQCCAE=#amp_tf=Van %1$s&ampshare=https://matadornetwork.com/abroad/15-differences-dutch-friend-american-friend/&ampshare=https://matadornetwork.com/abroad/15-differences-dutch-friend-american-friend/&ampshare=https://matadornetwork.com/abroad/15-differences-dutch-friend-american-friend/

Let's start this with saying sorry for not understanding everything, misinterpret stuff and voicing my opinions unclear sometimes.

I perfectly understand your war metaphore but let me ask you this, what if two people in a relationship who love eachother have sex? They are kinda dumb, misinformed, have unsafe sex and fight eachother to death with 2 children 3 years later. No casual sex involved but still a shitty harmful situation resulting in the same separation problems and a broken home.

Casual sex isn't a bad thing when the people involved know what they're doing. Safe, respectful, fun and most importantly for me, not cheating on anyone.

If I'm not seeing anyone and end up in a one-night stand with the hot lady down the street who isn't involved either, what's the problem? We are smart, reasonable people having some fun.

Sex isn't a holy sacred mating ritual in my book, that was clear already but sex isn't for everyone either. Like people thinking 'oooh what a cute dog let's get one too'. They have not the slightest idea what their gettin theirselves into, the are misinformed, severely underestimating the risks and have no idea how much effort it costs. Same with sex, if you don't know what you're doing it can be just as harmful, with or without a relationship. That's what causing the most trouble, uneducated, misinformed youngsters who see this forbidden fruit and experiment. Thats why I mentioned sex education. People will **** no matter what.

It would be stupid and untrue to say those problems don't exist here; they very much do but I see people having sex who are committed but still not smart enough to realize they are doing something that could be a life changing and relationbreaking event.

As for the divorce rates here, (if you say they're high I believe you but it's not necessarily to blame on casual sex so kinda unfair) but I have to ask this. Let's say 60% of Americans are christian. Isn't divorcing in the christian community fround upon? If so, then those numbers don't mean much because there are huge numbers of unhappy married Americans right now who don't divorce because of that. We on the other hand are not bound by that sort of thing.

As for substance use/abuse it's the same idea, very early education, harm reduction and very good treatments. People will also take drugs no matter what. Not all of us smoke pot because we can, like not all of us screws like bunnies because we have liberal ideas on sex. In fact young people wait longer here then let's say 10 years ago and that's a very good thing. Most harddrug users are high educated young people who blow off some steam in the weekend. Not that that's a good thing but just to give an idea. Normalization isn't a good thing either so you better give these kids some guidance and information. I mean come on, you guys really want to talk drugs abuse?

Yes we have great healthcare for everyone but our condoms aren't cheap lol. I'm most definetely not saying this is a perfect society or the best nation in the world. Far from. But pointing out flaws etc as an American is just plain ****ing silly and it would be best for me not to expand on that before this whole forum falls over me. And for the record the Dutch are assholes with a shitty spoiled mentality and complain about every little thing they can.

It's like everything we stand for is living hell for you guys. We will not come to any agreement on this. But I applaud these social liberties, it's the biggest form of freedom you can have.

We are very tolerant on abortion, gays, euthanasia, genders and prostitution if you want to discuss some more.

(That was a joke, please don't.)

If I still fail to understand your points don't bother to spell it out again.

You think casual sex is bad no matter what. I respectfully disagree. I happen to know 2 female psychologists where I have very interesting talks with, I'll be sure to ask about this topic when I see them.

Cheers.

 

Its understandable that you guys are linking in the negative side effects of a promiscuous culture and are taking this discussion there. In that case sure if someone cant be responsible about it then obviously they should be advised to practice abstinence. I dont see how thats debatable unless youre a new age liberal that sees abortions as some type of trophy to be had or that family values arent a major factor in economical success and the like.

At least for the responsible people id still recommend not saving yourself for one. If youre fine with whatever hand is dealt when you do choose someone then more power to you. I just couldnt imagine not learning the many life lessons that i have because i was too afraid to whip it out a few times before i found the current love of my life.

Quite frankly i probably wouldnt have enough self control to avoid jumping on the first opportunity with another girl if it wasnt for my previous experiences... even knowing id ****ing die for the love i have for my wife.



You guys wanna take this a step further into MGTOW? lol, who needs em.

 

How many ****ing pages of this drivel did we have to go through before someone started bringing up the real issues?