That's true I may be less likely to bond, but it's also nearly impossible to find a virgin girl to settle down with. And if she's allowed to be out ****ing than so am I. Thanks a lot, now I'm just mad thinking about all the dudes who have railed my future wife.
Honestly though guys, There has only been one girl I've had sex with that there has been an emotional connection. And eventhough I wont marry her, she is the one. I have to say, no matter how many different girls I've been with and regardless of how good they were, noone will ever compare to that girl in bed. The emotional connection makes all the difference in the world to the point that now when thinking back, every other girl was just boring. I've enjoyed reading this discussion and agree/disagree with both sides. But from my experience I can say, I wish I had not had sex with any girl aside of the one, it is a regret of mine. And to all the people who say it's just sex go **** whoever you want, I completely agree with that statement. But when you find the girl that is the one, it's no longer just sex. And it's the best drug in the world. I'm more horny now than I was through highschool or college. Being a grown ass man and getting tingles everytime she just touches my hand is truly insane to me. So in short, **** whoever you want, but don't down anyone who wants to save themselves for the one, because it's goddamn special. No ****.
This pretty much sums up how I feel about it. "Casual sex, of and by itself, is neither good nor bad. It's neutral. It's a thing that some people do, like waterskiing or collecting little ceramic pixies. It is good or bad based on the choices of the people who do it. Casual sex between people who are dishonest to each other, who mistreat each other, who manipulate each other, who use the sex to fill gaps in their self-esteem, who have a covert agenda, who have unhealthy approaches to sex, who ****-shame, or who try to control each other is bad. Sex in a married relationship under those circumstances is also bad. Casual sex between people who respect each other, who treat each other well, who are honest with each other, who act with integrity, who are open about their expectations, who are sex-positive, who know what they want, and who are kind and compassionate to each other is awesome. In other words, it's not the sex, it's the people and the attitudes that matter." I found some more psychology articles but it basically comes down to this.
That's just not true though. Casual sex, as demonstrated, leads to all sorts of problems which we've already been over. It's not a good thing and the culture behind it is only getting stronger. Seriously, you can't separate the extremely intimate from sex. It's not just some "thing" people do. You're wrong about that. It's the most important bonding ritual that two people can participate in, and treating it like some "thing" is exactly why we have staggering divorce rates, abortion rates, and a plethora of fatherless homes. I will defend your right to have casual sex until the day I die, but it's just simply not a good thing for anyone, except for the horny version of you, at the expense of every other version of you and the people around you for the rest of time. I agree that consent, respect, compassion, and so on are all good things, but that's seriously such a weak argument for this culture. What if two people who respect each-other consent to mutilate each-other with a butter knife? Is it all of the sudden not a bad thing because they respect one another? The attitude of the individuals has NO impact on the consequences of the situation, unless both people agree to start a family after the mistake happens, at which point it's no longer casual. It's a bunk argument. In any case, I just don't see another way to interpret all of the effects it has had.
You find it extremely hard to separate casual sex and single moms on wellfare while being pregnant and with broken homes etc. Just because you see a dramatic result in your community/state/country doesn't mean you should speak for anything but. While the US teen moms are declining for the last 25 years it is still the highest of all developed nations. I wonder why that is. At this point you're just not very open minded about other approaches. And I understand that because as a conservative christian, ofcourse your not willing to participate in this way of thinking. Maybe a liberal from the US is more of a debating partner at this point then a very open minded dude from probably the most liberal place on the planet. Because casual sex is not even an issue here, it's part of life. And not harmful, awful or perverted. We handle sex at an early age and we have very little teen moms. So with less teen moms comes less abortions and so on. It's nice to learn different viewpoints but I really don't know how to go from here.
Well I would just say the same thing I've already said to that. I think you're flat out wrong. You keep saying that casual sex isn't a problem, but never address its effects. Are abortion rates, divorce rates, and single motherhood just irrelevant? Also, you brought up my location, my religion, and my political proclivities, but I don't see how that has anything to do with this conversation. It doesn't matter where I'm from, or what my religious background is, or any of that. I think it's better to argue with the ideas based on their merit, not the person or the perceived person by calling them close-minded and telling me what I am willing to consider. That's a pretty off-putting way to talk to someone, if you ask me.
God's eternal word - the instructions from the manufacturer - are consistent. Society will "progress" (re. degenerate) every few centuries and at the rate we are going there will be no consistent morals by the turn of the century. It's only a matter of time before constent is optional to include the next marginalized group of sexual deviants. People will just "do whatever they feel like" and give into the temptations of the flesh, and that always leads to the collapse of a civilization.
It has everything to do where we are from. And you keep bringing up divorce, haven't I said 3 times now I hate people not being monogamous? Casual sex between relationships doesn't make you a cheater. The effects are different here that's why 'where we are from' matters. Single motherhood etc are definetely not irrelevant, but very different here. Look we're talking in circles now, let's call it a day.
It doesn't have to be that way. It always bothers me when Christians say "yep, the end is coming and these people are hopeless" and so on, as if they think God isn't capable of another mass revival. Who are you to make such a claim? Sure, it may be too late, but who knows? I know I don't, so I'm going to keep on keeping on. The Bible calls the man who says he knows the time a liar.
"The effects are different here" Unless you have evolved a super-human race of people who work completely differently, then I think it's safe to assume that the psychological effects that casual sex has on people is precisely the same wherever you are. The state of the effects may not be as bad as America, but that's not really the point. Casual sex is demonstrably bad for everyone except for you when you're horny. It literally screws everyone else, even you, just post-sex. I don't care if it's not a problem in your country yet and never has been. Again, that has nothing to do with the effects of the practice. I'll be done now, but seriously, bringing up where someone is from and then just saying "you aren't willing to think" is a really crappy way of attempting to debase what someone else said. What If you gave your opinion on something, and I said "you're just not willing to think this way because you're from the netherlands." Really? I guess that has to be the end of the discussion, if you're just going to casually tell me what's in my own head and move on.
Aren't you doing the same thing? Telling me what is bad while we experience waaay less of the bad? I really don't want you think my way, sorry if it seemed that way. You are very passionate about this and you think I'm wrong. Well I think there is no wrong. But fair enough, I can live with that.