What Have Video Games Taught You?

I learned that there were giant enemy crabs in ancient Japan.

 

you saw nothing

...and that you can attack them for massive damage

 

Cars can explode when flipped

 

Wait, did the car explode then?

 

I started laughing immediately after seeing the title of the article, that's great.

More things I've learned:

Orange objects are better than purple ones
Assassins developed x-ray vision way back in the day
Everything carries money, and I mean EVERYTHING.

Lastly, only bad things will come to happen when someone asks you, "Would you kindly..."

 

To reiterate a point Pac said, everything will eventually blow up if you cast enough magic at/throw things at/melee attack/shoot it enough.

And ****'s are the quintessential evil, and are doomed to be videogame bad guys forever.

Also, Hitler seemingly had his finger in every single pie imaginable when it came to warfare. Space travel, time manipulation, cybernetics, black magic/resurrection, John-Hammond-wannabe, you name it, he's done it.

 

Do I win?

 

Halo- How to fight teh alienz

COD- How to use teh noob tuberz

Need4speed- How to totally make the DMV guy **** his pants when i drive

Sonic- How to run

 

You guessed nothing, you win nothing. NO COOL POINTS FOR YOU!
[/soupnazi]

 

The only ones I thought I knew

 

how to masturbate

 

If you want to sell something you need only go to the nearest shop; store owners love taking everything you want to sell.

If you are friends with a police officer/guard, and you commit a city wide mass murder, you need but talk to him, and he will wipe your slate clean.

Everybody in the world knows you are the protagonist. (with exceptions)

It is quite normal for random people in the street to ask you to do often dangerous jobs for them, often for little pay.

Dying is annoying; you have to redo sometimes as much as an hour of living!

Murphy's Law.

Strength in numbers? Bah! What a joke, you should always be in a convenient group of 1-3 people!

 

I have learned that health packs annoy the Red Cross

 

You got the second one right, and the first one mostly right (I was more talking about Morrowind, but any type of RPG would suffice ;D), the third one was actually referring to Ninja Gaiden. Blimps, robots, demons, ninja dogs, other ninjas. Yes, a ninja can beat anything. You receive 2 Cool Points, plus a third for effort. Well done!

 

People stand a few meters apart, have menues to navigate through and take turns while fighting.

 

Oh, pigs are green, birds hate them, and can also do crazy things when touched. :|