MACHINIMA: Battle - Jetpacks (beta)

Discussion in 'Reach Screenshots & Videos' started by Captain Forge, Oct 2, 2010.

  1. Captain Forge

    Captain Forge Ancient
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    Hey guys, I just made a beta for my first Reach machinima, if anyone could watch it and give me advice on how to improve it, please do so :) I really want this video to be excellent!

    YouTube - Battle - Jetpacks (BETA1)
     
  2. Combat P3nguin

    Combat P3nguin Ancient
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    Im just a bit confused with your machinima, this has to be a trailer but, what you have shown doesen't give any information about what your machinima is gonna be about. Obviously its something about jetpacks but your just not giving any detail about your machinima is going be about.

    Would you tell us a bit about what battle jetpacks is about?

    one other thing its not the best name for the machinima.
     
  3. Captain Forge

    Captain Forge Ancient
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    This is the final machinima, it's a short. It's actually the first episode from a little series of short battles that have little plot but major action. I added a few voice overs to give it plot, and now I have submitted it to machinima.com :)
     
  4. Combat P3nguin

    Combat P3nguin Ancient
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    im not sure how machinima.com will think about your creation, but do you know what kinda story your going for?
     
  5. Atik

    Atik Ancient
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    Not all shorts need a story.

    Some of the best machinimas I've seen are just quick battles.
     
  6. Prosper

    Prosper Ancient
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    The falling down scene is great, everything leading up to it, not so much. The cuts are unnatural and sometimes the game is paused in the beginning of a clip etc..

    But like I said, the jetpack scene is great.
     
  7. stickmanmeyhem

    stickmanmeyhem Ancient
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    The people didn't seem human. All they did was shoot and throw grenades. They didn't even attempt to take cover which makes it look somewhat stupid because in reality, you wouldn't just stand in the middle of a field and strafe to dodge bullets.
    Also, there was no dialogue and no backstory, so we could assume the guy jumping off the falcon just wanted to kill someone for no reason.
    The music was just random and loud. It didn't match up with the acting whatsoever.
    And lastly, the ending made me mad. The antagonist just jetpacks right past the protagonist and just drops to the ground, after that he just stares at a wall not even really acknowledging that he'd just been in a giant battle where he almost died. Then, the protagonist just jumps down behind him and stabs him in the back.

    Also, you messed up on the legal script at the end.
    HALOREACH isn't a game... Halo: Reach, however, is.
     
    #7 stickmanmeyhem, Oct 3, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2010
  8. Vicious3745

    Vicious3745 Ancient
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    Wow, those 2 guys really suck at halo.
     
  9. schleb

    schleb Ancient
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    rough landing with the falcon....good thing your not a piolit in real laif.....a lot of bronken backs! lol
    music went well....a few "shaky" angles and over-run clips tho..
    oh and at the end where the AR comes back into screen...maybe delete that part to give it a better flow/ending....
    3.5/5 overall almost there!
     
  10. XxSpix

    XxSpix Ancient
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    Make it so that the Falcon doesn't actually land, it hovers over a more noticeable landing spot(I though he was going to fall off the rocks at first), Make the first scene a bit more detailed, as in: Guy1 walks around a corner and starts spraying down the field. No, that's not going to work. Make it so that they like, meet in the middle, turn around, walk to the end, and then start shooting.
    Also, at the end, have the antagonist drop to his knees like he's weak, the protagonist stand behind him for a bit(weapon lowered), then stab him in the head(gotta get the assassination right!).

    Nice work, though.
     
  11. ki11joy ace

    ki11joy ace Forerunner

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    what r they standing on? y are they fighting? y does the falcon land on the crooked rock n not the flat floor? also, while they were fighting on top of the structure, it looked like a regular halo match fight. not a polished, realistic looking machinima fight, u shud take some cover n not stray back n forth.
     

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