Pimpin' Ain't Easy: The Role of the United States in a 21st Century World

Ok so a classmate of mine wrote this paper for his government class and I found it to be a pretty good read and I agreed with most of what he said. Take a look for yourselves and tell me what you think of it (agree/disagree idc).

Pimpin' Ain't Easy: The Role of the United States in a 21st Century World (government reflection)

Kanye West is to Taylor Swift as the United States is to Al Qaeda. Absurd? Not as absurd as an Amish family at a Bentley dealership. Think about it. When Kanye West stood up on national television and interrupted Taylor Swift, he was being more American than perhaps any other time in his life – he was asserting his will, making himself known in opposition to what he took to be a gross injustice to God, man, and Beyoncé.

Ever since the First World War the United States has been seen as somewhat of a “world cop” – getting involved in all manner of international conflicts and usually aligning itself with the victors and enacting change. The Second World War firmly established the U.S. within this role and our nation has since acted decisively in a plethora of situations – admittedly, some American attempts to police the world (i.e. Vietnam, Iraq) have been more disastrous than Helen Keller flying an airplane, but hey, you can’t win ‘em all, the point is to try, right? Right! Granted, peace in the Middle East looks about as far-fetched right now as Helen Keller in the NFL Draft, but really, the role of any nation in any historical context is to look out for its own interests…it would be foolish to do otherwise. The United States has simply taken a very active approach to it – because when DJ Khaled says “we takin’ over”, its up to Toby Keith to say “no!”, just like Kanye did when he thought his beloved Beyoncé had been cheated. To die hard Americans, the American way is the right and only way – what’s wrong with forcing it on others? (Plenty, but did that stop the Trail of Tears? Did that stop Charles Manson? Since when have ethics been an issue?)

Americans do a better job than any other people in the world at embracing their role – thanks to places like Texas. And pimpin’ ain’t easy! Pimps share women with the world for profit…as a superpower, the United States must be committed to sharing its resources, ingenuity, and using its power for the good of the global community. This should not be difficult to accomplish during the Obama administration, given that the President is already ‘down’ with spreading the wealth, and his Secretary of State has already learned to share her husband with Monica for the sake of political gain. It seems that the U.S. can learn from Hilary: sometimes you just have to grin and bear it (that’s what she said). Nice job Hilary! Way to take one for the team!

But pimpin’ ain’t easy! Especially since the financial crisis! The United States is that big thug who walks up in the strip club and makes it rain in the VIP lounge – lately however, most of the money Uncle Sam’s been throwing around has been borrowed from the little Chinese dude trying to get freaky out on the dance floor. The “shawties” of the world are starting to recognize that Mr. Ching Chong’s got that Funky Cold Medina and that Uncle Sam is just a washed up old G living on food stamps. While the United States slowly settles in to life as a financial porch-monkey, China is out hustlin’ – “grippin’ wood grain, ridin’ dirty, steppin’ its game up, and workin’ dat bankroll.” To put it bluntly, the United States has spread itself too thin and is in danger of getting run out of town.

Does this change the role of the U.S.? Not drastically, it merely requires American leaders to take a more conservative route towards solutions both at home and abroad. The United States is still the most powerful and influential country in the world (although it could lose this distinction in a matter of a couple decades) and thus it has the obligation to take charge on the world stage, but this must be done in a more prudent fashion. The foreign policy of the Bush administration was too aggressive and the economic policies of the Obama administration are too liberal. A middle ground may be found – just put me in the White House. For the third time, pimpin’ ain’t easy!
….it was in the 18th century though. (see fig.1)


As you can see, I’m clearly cut out for this job.
As opposed to Fig. 2:

She’s not quite what we’re looking for.

In conclusion, the United States is the world cop. We run things.
“F*CK IT! WE’LL DO IT LIVE!!” Bill O’Reilly


Pimpin Ain't Easy: The Role of the United States in a 21st Century World
By Dylan LeBlanc


Figure 1


Figure 2