I saw a thread on the Bnet Forums, and I thought that I'd carry it over to Forge Hub. Basically, you come up with some comedic or serious last words that the members or a member of NOBLE Team will say. Here's the scenario: Noble Team is about to be glassed by a Covenant Cruiser overhead. As the beam gets brighter, they look up and say... Oh, and have fun with this. Please.
OSHI- *Glassed* Or "WHAT THE FU- *Glassed* Or "Carter: I LOVE YOU CATHERINE, I ALWAYS HAVE!" "Jorge: ..." "Emile: ..." "Jun: ..." "Noble Six: ... Catherine is dead, Carter." "Carter: :'("
Both of these are actually really good. But to add on: "THIS is the way Halo ends." "Spartans never die Jorge. They're just missing in acti- *sizzle*" Remember, they're glassing. Not bombing."Twenty Five Kill Streak! All Right! NUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEE!"
(Control): "I dont know sir! I just Heard a Boooom and now there all dead!" Original Joke by Michael Mcdonald! (You): Sign pops "Please Reconnect Control ........ OH GOD DAMN IT!" *BOOOM* "EXTERMINATION" (Carter): "OH GOD DAMN IT, I ALMOST GOT PERFECTIO......." *BOOOOM* (XBOX) Achievement Unlocked "YOUR F**KED!" *BOOOOM*
All teh lawlz: 1. So I was on the AOL homepage.... 2. Ya know, for a super advanced civilization, these alien guys really don't know a proper barbecue. 3. Whoa, whoa, whoa, when did they get here? 4. (Team member): So what you're telling me, is that big shiny thing is going to turn us into glass? (Other): YES! (Team member): Well that seems a little rude and unfair. I mean, we didn't do anyt-- *bleep bloop* 5. Wait, did you say don't press the big red butt-- *fried* Srs Business: 1. I hope you filed those MIA reports on us. 2. Noble Team, we're going down fighting. Give them hell. 3. I'll see you guys in the next fight. 4. They haven't seen the last of us. ROFL
We regret bein Spartan bastards, we regret comin to Reach, and most definately regret those alien bastards just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet! Then it shows the inside of a Covenant Warship and you hear the announcer say "un-freakin-believable"
some random covanant: THIS AINT SPARTA!!! *BOOOOOOOOOOM* OR grunt: REVEEEEEEEENGE! OR an elite onboard: wait a sec.. OH S*** OOPS OR some teammate: aint that a b**** OR Master chief: wow, am i glad i wasnt on there OR other covanant ship: damn kill stealers.
Actually, this is just moments before the UNSC even know anything about the "Halo's" - "Pork Chops anyone?" - "Y'know what? We're all gunna die virgins :/." - "How do aliens reproduce?" - "I wanted to die with a better K/D ratio than Hitler. This sucks." - Satnav "Please do a U-turn when safe to do so." - "When's the last time you took a shower? You smell like sh*t." mm i cant think of any serious ones >.<
1) -"It's game over man! Game over!" *Credits roll* -------------------------------------------------- 2) -"Can anyone see an Elite?" -"Oh, you want to get one last kill before we all get glassed? You want to go down fighting like a true Spartan? You're a real hero, an inspiration to us all!" -"Nah man, I need to go hug it for the Legendary ending!" -------------------------------------------------- 3) -"Hey guys, the Covenant appear to be retreating, I think we just won! Right? Hey, wait, did Reach always have two suns?" -------------------------------------------------- 4) -"Well, team, the Covenant may have Reach, but we have flexibility!" -Garrus: "Impressive!" -------------------------------------------------- 5) -"So, two grunts walk into a bar..." -"Yeah..." -"The bartender is actually an ONI spy and he says..." -"Oh I get it! Very good!" -"No, that's not the punch line, idiot!" -"Oh, OK! What's the punch line?" -"Well...you see the bartender says..." *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM* -"The bartender says boom? I don't get it...oh wait you're dead...oh wait I'm dead...how the hell am I talking? Ah screw it!!!" -------------------------------------------------- 6) *Phone Rings* -"Hello?" -"Hello! This is an automated message from the Covenant: We have overrun your planet, destroyed your defences, vanquished your military presence, extinguished all civilian life, and are now glassing you and your entire planet out of existence!" -"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I hate automated messages!" -------------------------------------------------- 7) *Translated message booms out from the Covenant Cruiser above* "All ur base r now belong 2 us!" -"Damn, they're always screwing up the translation routine..." -------------------------------------------------- 8) -Carter: "So, I guess this is it team. It's been a pleasure working with you all. Well, except for you Emile, you're just freakin' weird! You creep me the hell out! What's with the helmet dude, seriously?" -Emile: "It's Bad-ass...and it makes me the most popular character...just take a look at this latest opinion poll." -Carter: "Well, I can't argue with the facts. It's been a pleasure working with you. Could you etch an intimidating image on my helmet before we die, so I'll be popular?" -Emile: "Sure..." *Emile etches a ***** into Carter's helmet* -Emile: "Bwahaha...You're going to die with a ***** on your helmet!" -Carter: "Ah **** you Emile!" *Glassed* -------------------------------------------------- 9) -"This is it Noble Team, we're all going to die. At least we fought bravely, right?" -Noble 6: "To hell with this! I'm off to play matchmaking!" *Noble 6 has left the game* -"What the **** ... I didn't know he could speak! Did any of you guys know he could speak?!" -"Nope" -"Weird" -------------------------------------------------- 10) -Carter: "Since we're all going to die, I'd just like to tell you, Catherine, that I love you!" -Catherine: "Really?" -Carter: "Yeah, I mean, with that arm you must give one hell of a hand job, what's not to love, amirite guys!" -Jun: "Well played!" -Jorge: "Nice one, commander!" -Emile: "Heyoooooh!" -Catherine: "Ah, **** you Carter!" -Carter: "Well, **** Catherine, there's still time if you want to!" -Jun: "Well played!" -Jorge: "Nice one, commander!" -Emile: "Heyoooooh!" *Catherine guns down Noble Team* -Catherine: "It's a good job you're the silent type Rookie...Now...how about you and I make some sweet lovin' before we die?" *Noble 6 grins roguishly* -Noble 6: "I already did, while you were asleep last night. Like you said...I'm silent..." -Emile: *cough* "Hey-" *splutter* "-yoooooh!" -------------------------------------------------- 11) -Carter: "Carter to Echo 1337! Request extraction now, on the double!" -Failhammer: "Affirmative, Carter. Failhammer inbound." *Noble Team arrives under the Covenant Cruiser.* -Carter: "Wait, stop! This is where Failhammer is coming to pick us up. Hold position here." *Echo 1337 appears, flaming at the engines. A pair of Banshees close in on the Pelican.* -Carter: "Carter to Echo 1337! Two Covenant Banshees are approaching on your six! Evade, say again, evade!" *An explosion lurches the Pelican, the starboard wing dips, ablaze, and Failhammer yells into the speaker as she passes under the platform.* -Failhammer: "I'm hit! Mayday! Mayday! Airfoil structures have been shot to hell! I can't hold her! I can't hold her!" *Failhammer continues to yell into the speaker, her words becoming inaudible as the roar of the damaged engines are heard in the background. The Pelican flies into the distance, still ablaze, collides into the ground and explodes, debris flying everywhere. * -Carter: "Ah crap! Who saw that coming eh?" -Jorge: "It's OK Commander, it was just ... Hammer's time!" *cue CSI Miami intro* -------------------------------------------------- 12) -Jorge: "But, commander, Spartans never die." -Carter: "You might not, but we SP-III's die all the damn time!" -Jorge: "Oh yeah! Well I guess something will come along and miraculously save me at the last second." -Catherine: "Actually it's just a figure of speech Jorge and a technicality. Spartans do die, but they're all listed as MIA to ensure they hold up to the myth. It's purely for civilian moral. I assure you, you can and will die here. *343 Guilty Spark materialises out of nowhere* -343: "Oh my, a reclaimer! We must get you out of here!" -Jorge: "I'll be sure to give you proper burials, or turn you all into lovely chandeliers!" *Jorge and 343 teleport away to safety* -Carter: "Son of a *****!" -------------------------------------------------- 13) -Jun: "Where the hell did it all go wrong? We were doing great: blasting weapon depots, saving civilians, killing bad guys. We must have made a mistake somewhere! -Carter: "Yeah you're right Jun. Everyone, let's revert to last checkpoint and try this mission again!" -------------------------------------------------- 14) -Carter: "Well, it was a hell of a mission guys! We achieved everything we could!" -Noble 6: "Are you kidding? We didn't do ****! The entire 15 hours that we spent killing enemies and blowing crap up was a complete waste of time!" -Carter: "Yeah but ..." -Noble 6: "No, No! This is retarded! Why did we even come here? We didn't do a thing, not one damn thing. We should've just saved ourselves the effort and ran up to the first Covenant grunt we saw and asked them to shoot us in the head. It would've saved us a hell of a lot of time pransing around like a group of homocidal misfits." -Carter: "Aw come on dude, we saved those civilians back on mission 5 remember? Without us they would have died man!" -Noble 6: "Is that a joke? Was that your attempt at being funny? What exactly do you think is going to happen to those civilians when the entire godamn planet is glassed!!! They're just gonna be OK are they? Got some kind of anti-glassing prototype armour or some **** I'm not aware of have they? -Carter: "Well...er...might have...boarded a ship...or something...?" -Noble 6: "Oh, Oh! Right, of course! You mean those ships up there? The ones getting absolutely destroyed by an entire Covenant armada! Those ones? Is that right? The ones currently in about a billion ****ing pieces burning up in the atmosphere! Wonderful!!!" -Carter: "I preferred it when you were silent..." -Noble 6: "Worst. Campaign. Ever!" -------------------------------------------------- Yeah, I had some fun with this