I would say try and find a thicker font that somewhat matches the ring around the text. I think it looks great other then that.
CaMOfo is right, thicker font... and make the ring do something at the end instead of just sitting there while the text disappears. Good start though... (damn you I wish I had AE)
I'd make the ring go back into itself, like how it appeared. That would rather sick. And ditto on the text.
The effect itself is fantastic, and matches the colours very well. The circular stock however is a bit choppy and stands out, perhaps making it a bit more transparent might make the whole thing look a bit sleaker. The same goes for the font. Finally, i would try and add a black-out effect around the edges, and overall make the entire thing darker. This is because if it is going at a start of a montage you are going to be fading from and then to black, it will look much sleaker and more professional if there is a subtle transition in lighting.
Try more of the TNT look, it's sleek, it's transparent, thicken the text. Otherwise, it's an amazing effect. It's very nice, one sold fluid motion, and I must say I didn't like the text. At all. =/ Try a different font, but it may just be the writing. Love the bluish colors though, very nice.
ARGGHHHHHH I WAS GONNA SAY THAT. iusdtyhnfjkaesyhtrfniusthfdyfcnfbas fsdfcaskijyfhayedsyhjcesiybrfejhfc Bu seriously, like everyone said before, the text is the only thing that doesnt fit. But, the ring is also quite small, but looks ok.
New version is up. YouTube- Intro v2 I know there's a tutorial on video copilot, I gave credit in the sidebar.
The ending of it kind of like just gets blurry and not really fades. If you could fix that and actually make it like fade/pixel away it'd look better idk much about this but xD
Yeah I'm thinking about making the ring and text explode into particles, then blow away. EDIT: Very final version. Hope you guys like it and thanks for the input. YouTube- Intro Final