As odd as it sounds, I kind of can control pain like that. Little pain, like papercuts. I say to myself, why does this hurt? I then explain to myself the body's reaction. But then I say to myself, why? And then most of the time I convince my brain to shut up and stop telling me I'm in pain. I do the same thing when I'm running alot and getting tired. It's not ignoring the pain, its totally removing it from the picture. Now if I could only do this before I feel the pain... There's very few times when I'm depressed, and I'm normally happy because I ask why am I sad. Not in an optomistic way, in an intelligent way. Its kind of like a robot actually when you think about it. Controling emotions. Makes me shudder.
I think being sad to conform with society's expectations is complete bullshit. Ok, so you've probably heard the "think before you act" concept. I often consider this. I have come to my conclusion that thinking too easily becomes over-thinking. That same concept suggests thinking before you speak. I have thought of this before. It's quite impossible to adequately think of a response. Basically, you react on instinct or on impulse. "How are you doing?" - "Fine." becomes "How are you doing?" - a thought describing all of your feelings while you actually stare blankly. When speaking to someone, you reply quickly and usually correctly. For instance, "What's your name?" - "My name is Jacob." can happen with almost no thought. So Could "What did you do today?" - " I..." Why is this? Living things have the ability to act on instinct. For an example, a cat does not think when it sees food, it will simply begin eating. However, there is a key difference between Humans and other animals. Humans can simulate situations. The cliche, nervous guy talking to himself in a mirror to simulate a conversation with a girl is a great example. In the movies, the simulation is usually in vain. This all comes back to thinking. To simulate, you must think. When you hear someone close has died, your first instinct is to be sad. Now, I firmly believe that your instinct has nothing to do with society's rules. Later, you may continue to feel sad because you feel you have to, but I don't think you can falsify sadness. I think humans simulate the loneliness that comes with death. Happiness, in my opinion, is a different story. There have been studies done that happiness can be controlled. Vaguely on subject, I could argue you are being happy just because society calls for "the pursuit of happiness." EDIT: I also do the same. I think to myself, pain is not real. It is nothing more than signals from my brain. However, the pain seems to remain with me.
When someone close to me is gone. I am sad. When someone close to me dies, I don't care about society. I care about me. I am sad because I lost the things that that one person can provide to me. Wether it be friendship, comfort or entertainment. I am sad because I lost that one aspect. Not because society says that is the reaction I'm supposed to give. At the same time, sadness doesn't prohibit me from doing my everyday tasks.
Sure, the instinctual response of sadness will most certainly be there and it is shared among all more intelligent animals. However, you do not have to act on this sadness nor keep it with you. You can choose to not be sad and simply clear your mind of thoughts.
I agree that emotions can be manipulated and created, but your railing against sadness is misplaced. Sadness is just as valid an emotion as any other. It's both helpful and healthy to explore negative feelings. If I were you I'd examine my desire to feel good at all times. Why are all emotions other than happiness so threatening? Also, societal standards aren't inherently a bad thing, on some level society acts as a crucible to test ways of thinking. If it's a good idea it takes hold, gains supporters, gains power, and eventually becomes part of society itself. If it's a bad idea it gets mocked, ignored, or threatened, but most importantly remains in the realm of deviance and does not face cultural absorption. The expectation of society that people come to terms with their loss is a beneficial product of our culture and not an attempt to control you. Now bear in mind that a lot of good ideas and practices get crushed or oppressed by society for no good reason, and much of society does attempt to dictate how you think, but rejecting all societal expectations out of principle isn't the correct solution to this problem.
I agree that negative emotions do indeed have their place, but what i am saying is for the people who are always depressed and want to not be depressed but somehow think that they arent in control of their depression. Simple fact is, they are. They just dont realize it and just so sit in their suffering.
That explains why I'm "sad" about my grandma. I never really loved her, and put on a façade in front of people that would be offended if I didn't. I don't love my grandma because she tried to be a good person in front of me and not have me find out how much of a ***** she was. I didn't like her, to put it at that, and for some reason I feel sorrow. She's supposed to die within the next few days, and last I heard she was going down hill pretty fast.