This is the official first episode of my machinima "Ultimatum". It's the follow up to Ultimatum Episode 0 "Prologue", and I would really appreciate it if you could take some time to watch it and give me some feedback. Here's a brief plot synopsis to the first part: "One hour ago the Rebel forces have proceeded to invade the field hospital/ base of the NASFC on Ellesmere Island. The battle on Ellesmere Island is heating up to a boiling point. The Rebels are smashing through the NASFC's last defenses. With Lieutenant Vasili's men dead, and the injured at the base counting on them, can Lieutenant Walker's men win the battle? Or will the snow and ice of the Canadian Arctic mark their graves?" YouTube - Ultimatum Episode 1 "Extraction" (Part 1/4) (Halo 3 Machinima) YouTube - Ultimatum Episode 1 "Extraction" (Part 2/4) (Halo 3 Machinima) YouTube - Ultimatum Episode 1 "Extraction" (Part 3/4) (Halo 3 Machinima) YouTube - Ultimatum Episode 1 "Extraction" (Part 4/4) (Halo 3 Machinima)
Ultimatum Episode 1 Part 1 00:20 - The opening disclaimer needs to be more succinct, if present at all 00:40 - Not enough urgency in the characters voice when requesting morphine 00:42 - Voiceover levels need to be normalised 01:20 - Casually: "Let's take a break" (their teammate just shot himself, more emotion in this scene is needed rather than the casual tone used) 01:30 - Dialogue levels need to be normalised 01:45 - "You mean - suicide?" Unecessary exposition 02:02 - Dialogue recorded too close to the mic 02:12 - Music fades out abruptly 02:14 - 02:45 - Could benefit from a consistent visual style 02:40 - Three exclaimation marks in a newspaper 02:56 - Music fades out abruptly 03:02 - Characters charge headlong into bright glowing mines, would this happen IRL? 03:20 - Trained soldiers wouldn't fire on a tank without armour piercing rounds 04:05 - Soldiers see tank aiming at them directly with its turret for several seconds, continue to fire despite knowing they are going to die - this is unrealistic 06:20 - You need to maintain a consistent visual style 06:30 - LOL 08:00 - 08:30 - Voice acting is a bit hammy here 08:50 - You can see the sniper rifle barrel through wall when sniper strafes 09:50 - Music fades out abruptly Just what I saw on a quick watch. It was good, but there's also lots to improve.