Remember I said I will post my English essay first drafts, tell me what you think and suggest alternitive areas please The Train wreck - Newspaper Article The worst train crash in history was in 2002, there were 42 people on the train. Among those people was Roberto Stylon, who has four beautiful children who tried their best in school, and behaved well all because of Roberto’s passion to make sure they could read, write and talk correctly by the age of three. Roberto was a teacher in a upper - class High school, where he taught forty young students in his English class. Roberto was born in Italy although moved to England as he felt he’d be employed quicker, and get a higher annual pay. Roberto was 35 years old when he got on that train from London to Manchester, he was writing a story when he was on the train about his hometown. Hoping to then publish his memoirs in a book in the following year. That book was eventually published five years after the train crash, although was finished by one of his daughters Megan, who grew up to write two best-sellers, she struggled when she was younger with grammar and spelling, although Roberto her dad showed her the ropes on how to write a great book. The book, Roberto started was called Memoirs Of Roberto Stylon and sold over two million copies and was published in multiple countries. Everyone on the train, their names were written on the back few pages of the book, 12 people died tragically on the train, Roberto wasn’t one of them, though three people he knew were on the other carriage of the train. Here are a few pages from the book, it was around 7pm I felt edgy as I’ve always been scared of trains, though as I don’t think its right to drive everywhere I found it was a must to get the train from time to time, I had to go to Manchester to meet a publisher that was interested in my previous books, and wanted to see what I’ve done with the memoirs book so far, (little did he know that the book would be a best-seller and Roberto had a near death experience well he was writing it.)As I got on the train I glanced at the people and smiled at anyone that caught eye contact with me, I sat down and put my drafts of paper on the small table in front of me I began to write about my family, my wife Paula and my children, half of an hour went as quick as a race dog when a gun shot hit’s the air. I stopped writing and stared out the heavily vandalised window. All of a sudden the train started to sway violently I began to get nervous, people on the train began to react by screaming and holding their loved ones, the train over turned and rolled off the track, one of the older carriages got flattened by the other, causing the death toll. (Not finished obviously) By Steven Gorman x
the 1st to paragraphs are...um...how do i say this...not goodish...they dont flow and you jump between topics...ill comment on the rest later(im not tryin 2 be mean im trying 2 help)
Dude Its meant to be a article type idea, meant to jump from topics just suggest new paragraphs don't just say that then be done with it. Make sure you post a replacement.
o.....then ignore what i said....i thought it was supposed to be expository writing(thats the only thing they teach us in school)
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