Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…. 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary… Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.........
How can you say that. Cats are cool. Why would you want to walk a dog, put up with it takin a crap everywhere, picking up it's crap in a bag when it does, be kept up all night by it's barking and fill your house and car with hairs and the smell of wet dog? When you could have an awesome cat that sits by you and gives you something to stroke while playin xbox without barking, smell, crap and it running everywhere. Quite obviously cats r bettah It depends who you are, lazy people like cats and people who leave there house more than two times a week prefer dogs.
lol, that is awesome. It may be the truth as well. I love dogs. A lot of the cats I've come in contact with seem like that one. My favourite bits were allergies, bird in an elevated holdin cell and calling the dog retarded. Sir, that was great.
This has inspired me to show you guys, the down side of getting a dog, when he/she gets older ... my dog corrie is a labrodor and shes 14, I'm a year older shes, really messed up now, and spends her time falling down the stairs, and sleeping Rep me + if you wanna see what shes like. Although, I aint showing her falling down the stairs, I have to carry her up and down the stairs just sometimes she looses balance
you man are disgusting, i dont want to see an old dog fall down stairs, whats wrong with you?, if anything i would give you negative rep for that, but since your rep is disabled i guess i cant
Hahaha, that was hilarious. Definatly not what I was expecting when I opened the topic. I'll never look at cats the same again, haha.
Lol No you mis-understood well, actually I wrote wrong, LOL no, I never meant who wants to see her fall, I meant who wants to see her now. Lol sorry for posting inaccurately well, I actually have to carry her up and down so yeah.
ahaha this is funny on so many levels. Just the cat's diary alone is hilarious and it makes complete sense regarding a cat's attitude and actions.
lol.....LOL....thats all i can say lol.....did you come up with this or did you just read this somewhere
Lol the story of the Cat is really funny! Cat's are good to have when you're old, I still have a dog and I prefer having one.
Dogs are way better than cats. I don't have one because my little sister would kill it. She thinks she is only playing, but she is really hurting the poor little animal. I would hate to be a dog when she is around.
Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuu.... This just proves that one day cats will band together and take over the planet...
once again, my aunt sent me this email, i laughed, so i though i would share it with the FH community
Awesome. This is always how I imagined this. Too bad my cat is an indoor-outdoor cat, because the prisoner state of mind ceases to apply.