The door to the tomb groaned from its burden. With a final tug, it is thrown open, hitting the ground with a resolute thud. The girl in the entry way breathed in deeply. The dark passage seemed to beckon her in, but she resisted. For a moment. 'Dawn.' She is easily startled. The voice calls out, once more. 'Enter.' Her will crumbles, and without compulsion, she takes her step inside. As she walks inside, shaking at her fear, the voice speaks again. 'Do not be afraid.' She turns around. The door, before felled down to the floor, now stood up at it's original position. The hallway was sealed. Shrugging, she turns around. A man stands in front of her. No, not a man; a mere visage of one, perhaps the phantom of the occupant of this tomb. She shivers. The man simply stands. Then, she asks him: 'Can you carry me through?' It was a simple question, and one that requires no less than an indignant answer. Regardless, the man stood there. Then: 'Do you love him?' He didn't answer her question, naturally. Hearing him speak, however, made her relieved, more or less. She eased from her tension. 'How does one carry a burden that another must tread on?' She answers his question with her own, and for a moment, she thought his face twitched into a smile. Then, nothing. Just a pale, opiate expression. Time seemed to pause indefinitely. The girl stared at the ghost, and the ghost to the girl. Finally, the spirit turned around and walked deeper into the tomb. 'Follow.' Obediently, she let his soul guide her. The darkness snatched at her senses, leaving her petrified in fear. But she pressed onwards. The man finally stopped. With a nod, he pointed onwards. A single torch blazed on, in a tomb so ancient that it had not been opened for centuries. She took it and was about to leave. 'Dawn.' She turned around, tears in her eyes. The spirit said only her name, nothing more. She choked back a sob, and left. The spirit stood there, melancholic, depressed. Then he faded away into nothing. _________________ Meh, I don't wanna finish it. I'm too lazy to think of what might happen. I just had to put it out on computer, and I thought you people might enjoy reading a small bit of this.
"so old it had not been opened for centuries" I didn't really feel smoothly written; didn't really "flow" for me. Idk what else could substitute though.. Older than the sands of time?mehh =/ You have good writing skills though, I'm impressed I'm not really much of a writer lulz
Meh, I expect some crap to pile in it. I just made the story up as I posted this thread. It's not really for anything. I just thought it was interesting, and started typing randomly at the keyboard until a good story popped up. It's meant to be really short, and brisk.
Nice writing. A little confusing, but well written. I dont dare finish it, because Im scared of ruining it.
Oh, dammit. Meh, I was thinking of adding this to something I'm writing. I'll tell you later if I want to keep it.