That may be so, but I've never argued on the basis of my experience because that's a weak way to argue and doesn't get anyone anywhere.
Congratulations! Married for 3 years, love every day I spend with her and she's pretty good at Halo to.
Before stats became prevalent people would have to open their eyes to all that is around them and try to understand every possibility that may create it. These days they just look for the stats. Anyone who thinks statistics are the gold standard hasn't seen how easily they can be manipulated. The key is in the questions, not the answers.
Just to give an example. I live in an area plagued by the drug epidemic, my small town is actually view nation wide for how severely we have been effected. My job is to take adult felons who have a drug addiction, and committed crimes to support their drug addiction, and treat them. There’s a guy who we have managed to keep sober for over a year. He’s working full time. He and his wife just graduated a cps case. We did a referral due to his drug screens being positive when he first entered the program. It took them months to graduate their cps case (they were drug screened twice weekly while on cps) he was screened minimal three times weekly due to being on probation with me. More realistically 5 times weekly. So everything is going fine, they are both sober (we have no jurisdiction with her because she has no criminal record - cps case is not a criminal record). They have 3 children together under the age of 4. Have been married 10 years. He has committed to sobriety, works on it 40 hours a week through our program, tested roughly 5 times weekly still because he’s on probation. However, the wife is seen constantly, almost daily around town blown out and tweaking on meth. I’ve personally seen it several times (small town). Everytime we go to his house we can see meth, have read messages in her phone about buying meth, and have seen it in the home. He is sober. He is ready to leave her, after months and months of fighting it. She refuses to go to treatment, refuses to ask for help, he has went to jail for her several times (on probation what’s found in the home of the person on probation, they’re responsible). So there’s two options we’ve been fighting with. He leaves her and takes the kids so they’re no longer with a mother smoking meth around them. Or stay together and keep the family together for the kids. While she smokes meth, refuses to get clean, and neglects her children. Divorce is necessary sometimes. And better for the children. Also this is not an extreme, there’s hundreds of cases just like that in my small town a lone.
As soon as I posted that I knew people were going to say something like "well what about two murderers as parents!?!?! huh!?" Of course 2 bad parents (depending on what you mean by that) is probably worse than one good one. That was never the argument because I'm talking broadly. All else being the static, two parents is better than one, and it's not a linear equation either. People need their father, like a lot. Like I said a while ago, the best predictor for poverty isn't race, it isn't IQ, it isn't location. It's single motherhood. Also, just to be doubly clear, a lot of what I'm arguing are basic if-then logic statements, that nobody so far has addressed. The increasing abundance of casual sex has led to a surplus of unplanned pregnancies, which either leaves the mother as a single parent or adds to pile aborted fetuses. If casual sex makes pair bonding less likely (which it does) then future committed relationships are less likely to sustain themselves, which leads to more divorce. I think we can all agree that casual sex leads to unplanned pregnancies, but nobody is willing to take it a step further. What is self-evidently the number 1 contributor and source of unplanned babies? Casual sex. What is self evidently the number one cause of abortion and single motherhood? Unplanned pregnancies. People don't abandon and abort the babies they planned to have. Therefore, one can easily conclude that casual sex is a necessary precursor to abortion and single mothers. Finally, we can look at those numbers and how they are increasing, and easily identify that increase with the increase in casual sex culture in America. Casual sex leads to abortion, single moms, and potentially divorce, and casual sex culture encourages more of it. In conclusion, the casual sex culture has been one of the main contributors to at least abortion and single mothers, while also contributing to divorce rates because of the decrease in probability that you will successfully pair bond.
Im surprised nobody's brought up porn yet. Exposure to explict pornography at a young age and porn addiction in general has effected society wayyyyy more then most people realize. In fact the invoulantary systems of your brain that deal with sexuality do not know the difference between real sex and fap ejaculation. If your a chronic fapper your having chronic casual sex, there is no difference to you brain. This sounds off but porn addiction is one of the major reasons modren video games suck so much. This is just one sideffect among a whole list of extremely negative effects it's caused on society.
That's true, I often feel the need to throw away my old monitor for a much shinier slimmer new one. That also explains my addictions to paper in my youth.
The psychological effects have nothing to do with protection, and yes, if you treat sex like it's just some "thing" that's fun and okay to do all the time, then people are going to get pregnant. It's just going to happen. People aren't pessimistic enough.
@Xandrith Youre still talking circles with no sources while asking for sources. Casual sex isnt the cause of any of what you keep re-iterating. Irresponsible sex is. Who gives a **** about divorce? If you arent religious, then marriage is only a legal beneficiary. In which case, divorce means nothing.
Oversexualized culture and porn addiction/exposure are probably the reason most people don't see anything wrong with casual sex between consenting adults. It literally rewires your brain and trains it to process information differently. Think of it this way, when what used to be nature's greatest challenge (mating) becomes as easy as a click and a fap, It causes extreme imbalance in the work-reward system. As you could imagine, this causes a whole slew of issues that rear there ugly head in all facets of society .
Honestly man when this first started I thought you had some valid points. But now I see you’re just arguing based on some numbers you read on the internet. Live a little. I’m not saying go **** some hookers, but go out and learn about other people’s lives. You are blinded by statistics and numbers. You don’t understand people real life experiences in many of these situations. Statistics can be skewered. You have a pattern of debating in a strict format. You are good at it, I’ll give you that, but the template you follow is flawed. 4 years of university never prepared me for the real world. At university I learned statistics, in the real world I learned peoples experiences, emotions, and most importantly what might seem simple almost always has an underlying complex story behind it. I’m not saying ignore statistics, but don’t entirely formulate opinions based solely on stats when there’s so much more to a complex issue like unplanned parent hood, single mothers and divorce rates.
I haven't even brought up statistics, I just used if-then statements, but I think I understand your points. I just don't think we should base our perspective on perspective alone, as odd as that may sound. I've seen a lot of things too, even though I'm 20, and I definitely value those experiences. I just have a hard time using them in a discussion because every time I see it brought up, I realize that it could be totally different for someone else, and the only way to really figure out the best way forward is with a cold style of rhetoric. I understand that it can be annoying, I just really like doing it when I can because talking, or typing, is really how people learn, and that's what I want to do most of all. It's all good though. I'm going to give myself a pat on the back for not calling anyone a ******, and genuinely thank everyone else for doing the same. I think xzamples is right in that we are talking in circles at this point, so I'm going to do my best to change the subject to Halo. Which reminds me, I'm about to play Halo. Yuck.
How do you think spawn point porn factors into this debate? Where is the line drawn between casual forging and committed forging? Asking for a friend
So a couple of things, I’m glad you took my last post well because after re-reading it came off a bit dickish. Secondly, I also agree, nice to see a more mature conversation. I believe I’ve called you out in the past to being excellent at debating, however you choose to start name calling and just ruin your credibility. So thank you for that, I think it helped make the conversation more enjoyable. Thirdly, back to my post. You come off as a ‘book smart’. So the main idea behind my post is to encourage you to push your opinions with more than just what is read online. I don’t know anything about you, so for all I know you have an abundance of personal experiences similar to what I was explaining, and just choose to exclude them in your debates. But I disagree with your earlier post that personal experiences go nowhere in a discussion. I think if you combined your personal experiences with the information you have read about, you could get your opinions off more persuasively. You’re smart beyond your age man, but there’s nothing wrong with using what you’ve learned from life. I would argue I’m 50% a learner through reading and 50% through experiences. But I go forward in life based mostly onwhat I’ve experienced more than what I’ve read. Also, I don’t mean to push my ways onto you. Who’s to say the way you debate and have discussions are wrong. I’m just saying I think you could really get your points across better when you humanize issues rather than just using statistics. And like you said, you haven’t used stats, but you get my point. Anywho, I still enjoyed reading everyone’s thoughts on these matters. It’s interesting to think about for me because my life is revolved around decreasing the number of parents involved in drugs so their children can have better lives. That’s my motivator. I’ve always viewed the primary culprit of broken homes in my town as drugs, not casual sex. And idk if that view will change or be altered, but it has still been interesting to get other perspectives on it.