Feedback on my personal Hobby...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by CommanderColson, Apr 4, 2016.

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  1. CommanderColson

    CommanderColson Forerunner
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    Some of you may know that I actually write music for a hobby. Well- sort of. I can't read actual music, nor can I play any instruments. However, I've tinkered around with the iOS app Garageband on my phone since I was a freshmen in High School. For fun, I've decided to share a project I'm currently working on, on here for feed back. Just like a map.



    It's still in a bit of a demo form, and keep in mind it was done on my phone- I'm not looking to make a career out of this, just to express myself and have fun. Keep in mind the song is built for vocals... and try not to think about me singing too much. Tell me what you think! Honestly. I'm looking for feedback.
     
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  2. xdemption

    xdemption ATN
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    hey! I remember hearing this over your mic! Cool tune broski
     
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  3. Squally DaBeanz

    343 Industries Forge Critic

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    The beginning seemed to drag on a bit, probably due to the fact that the main melody doesn't kick in until two minutes into the track. That's just a long time to stick to what's essentially all the supporting voices. I would introduce a taste of the main melody at 0:35 and end it at 0:53. Also, 1:10 to 1:27 feels like filler, as you only add one more voice following that, making the entire segment of 1:10 to 2:02 feel too long. The other major thing is that it all feels very synthesized, but that goes without saying since this is done on your phone :p
     
  4. Chronmeister

    Chronmeister Blockhead
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    Squally, you should just become a critic and quit school. The job suits you better than anyone I've ever met.
     
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  5. Squally DaBeanz

    343 Industries Forge Critic

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    I just try to analyze things to the best of my ability and be as specific as possible :)
     
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  6. FrostPhoenix0

    FrostPhoenix0 Mythic
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    So, exactly what good critics do?
     
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  7. REMkings

    REMkings BIOC
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    Sweet stuff Collie!
     
  8. Yekkou

    Yekkou Yellow, but with "kk"s
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    It reminds me of something I would listen to while waiting at the main screen of a modern 8-bit game or something haha. It's good!
     
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  9. CommanderColson

    CommanderColson Forerunner
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    So I took a bit of a break from this project but have recently started it up again. Here's the second mix for anyone interested. I still need to mess with the panning, but other feed back is always welcome:

     
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