I witnessed a women eat a bic lighter today (the whole ****ing lighter, not half or some ****). I tried to stop her, but she told me to **** off and proceeded to walk away from me backwards with both middle fingers raised, proud and unrelenting. It was as if she was possessed by the spirit of Small Wayne, who at the moment is trapped within his body lying on a cold hospital bed. When I finished my bagel and cigarette at the cat friendly café, I strolled down the block with my boyfriend Ricky (at this point in time, I had completely forgotten of the incident earlier as the nicotine in my blood vessels kept my mind clear and relaxed). We pass a dark, moist alley infamous for fatal stabbings; and Rick stops frozen right at the opening of the alley. I ask him whats the hold up, and he mentions the sound of someone sobbing in the alley. Turns out this **** ***** skank is there on all fours crying a river, going on about how Halley Barry is buried in her back yard. Ricky ****ing stabs the **** out of her and drapes a huge piece of plastic over her face to hide the body.
I went diving on Tuesday. I really liked it. I also went diving on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I'll also be diving today and tomorrow.
I was bored to tears last night and ended up playing runescape. So has I'm sitting there woodcutting some guy comes up to me and gives me a mill. So hungover bro
From what I have heard, anything above Johnnie Walker Black Label is basically a status symbol, so if you want to buy anything expensive look for a different brand. Of course I don't drink scotch so this could be bull ****
*Looks back at what I talked about on Skype last night* [12:24:10 AM] Dylan G: Cmon drunk Dylan [12:24:15 AM] Dylan G: You can do this. [12:24:22 AM] Dylan G: You're pretty.