[WIP] Zombie Apocalypse Novella [Ch. 1] I've been wanting to write this for a while, and I finally am! ^-^ I'm going to be keeping chapters somewhat short (I like short chapters), but it will be standard novella length overall. I hope to be adding at least one chapter per week to this, and I'll keep them all right here in this thread. Any opinions or criticisms are welcomed. For those that don't know what a novella is, and are curious what it is, read this. Spoiler 1 “Hey!” A familiar voice spoke up from behind, “What are you doing?” Isn’t it obvious? Ian thought while sitting on his neighbor’s dock, feet in the mucky, algae-infested water. Not far to his right was a sign that read: “private property, no trespassing”—a sign that he disobeyed the orders of almost as often as he wished that his life were more exciting. Whether or not his neighbors actually minded him sitting on their dock didn’t concern him, though. This was their summer home, this was their one-day-a-year home, their “there’s-a-hurricane-headed-toward-Florida, let’s-go-to-Michigan” home. He had lived on 10607 Otter Street for seven years now and had yet to actually meet these neighbors. For all he knew, they didn’t exist. “Thinking,” he said as he leaned back onto the warm planks of the dock, arms crossed behind his head, annoyance evident in his voice. “Go away.” This wasn’t just any voice, however, this was the voice of his little sister; the voice of a seventeen-year-old who believed that she had the life experience of a seventy-year-old. This was the aggravating, high frequency drone that would oftentimes sing along with whatever new teen sensation happened to be popular at the time. This was the voice that constantly followed him around when she had nothing better to do—and she never had anything better to do. “I’m bored, Ian!” She exclaimed, emphasizing the “or” portion of “bored”—a staple of conversation for this child. “Everyone in this town is bored, Megan.” He said as uninterested and bland as he could, hoping to deter whatever banter was brewing within her mind. “Go. Away.” He repeated. Today was going fairly well, until this leech made herself apparent, that is. Fairly well—the term being strictly relative—anyone from anywhere else in the world would think of this day as borderline suicide-evoking—but that’s beside the point. Only those from a country town of similar size are capable of understanding just how much nothing can be accomplished within a single day. How boredom itself is considered an acceptable activity. The fifty-seven locals of Middle-of-Nowheresville practiced boredom daily, accompanied with cigarette smoking and beer drinking, obviously. Today is sunny, though, and sunny days are always welcomed. With no job or car, sunny days are the only escape from the hell that is being cooped up in a small, three-room farm house with Megan and their father, Todd. Todd was always addressed as 'Todd'—never as 'Dad'. The fifty-one-year-old, laid-off, chain-smoking, prescription-drug-abusing alcoholic sure knew how to make home life difficult. Slurred insults and obnoxious demands—usually requests of going to the mini-market for more booze or cigarettes—were more common than “good morning”, “goodnight”, or any other normal family discussion. Despite how amazingly annoying Megan could be, she and Ian had an understanding. An unwritten, unspoken understanding about their father; they would always support each other before they would support him. “Iannnnn!” she cried, “let’s go do something!” “Megan there isn’t anything to do. Why do you think I’m down here on the dock?” Ian considered saying I am doing something, I am avoiding you and Todd. The possibility of her pointlessly defending herself was not worth voicing this thought, however. “I don’t know, we could go to that old abandoned red house a mile up the road! Remember how it had that creepy hole in the floor and it looked like there was a severed hand at the bottom? Remember? Or we could go to that old abandoned box car on the railroad tracks! I don’t even care what we do at this point; I’m just so damn bored it’s frustrating!” She seemed as if she wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “That ‘severed hand’ was just a plastic bag.” Ian muttered, barely acknowledging her presence. “Well, if you’re not going to hang out with me, I’ll just go find something super-awesome to do by myself!” She pulled a quick one-hundred-eighty-degree turn, dark brown ponytail horizontally slicing the air. Rather than putting these ‘super-awesome’ plans into motion, however, she stood still; snapping her arms into a cross pattern over her chest—just another attempt to get cooperation out Ian. “Great.” Ian whispered, mind elsewhere. He was too preoccupied to care about anything she had rambled on about. His mind was almost constantly thinking of the one person in this town that had been comforting; the single individual whom he wished hadn’t left.
I always thought that they formed an upwards arrow if joined together as two lines. Like this: ”Hey!“ It just doesn't look right to me the way you've got it. I'm not sure about the proper grammatical ways, but it might help.
I simply used the quotation mark key on my keyboard within microsoft word. That's what it gave me. Lol. I'm not sure if there is an actual grammatical difference between the two.
You've got a pretty interesting story going there, can't wait to read more. I'm currently working on a short story about a Zompoc too. It will be interesting to see your novella and read it as it goes too.
red = issue blue = my explanation of the issue green = my recommended fix/other fixes I could've done a more thorough job, but I'm currently also writing essays, so it'll have to be later.
Great. Looks straightforward so far. I look forward to reading more of this, as it's hard to find good fiction on the internet, because most of it is fanfiction, and don't get me started on that.
The bitchy sister talks like a girl who has got everything she ever wanted but you made it clear from the description of the home and father she didn't...
Thanks! Be sure to check back. teal = my explanation. Overall, thanks for the feedback! It's greatly appreciated. Not a fan of fanfic? I'll probably be slowly picking away at this on the days that I work third shift, as it's my only real free time. Not necessarily in my opinion. I know plently of girls who haven't had everything handed to them yet speak with that really annoying, perplexed girl voice.