Play simple yet fun games, like asking them to go through the whole sales pitch, and then at the end, tell them that you have just had (insert item they were trying to sell you) replaced/renewed. They go all quiet and then just hang up. Another one is to pretend that the line is really bad and keep asking them to repeat the question or previous line, or try and get them to explain to you how this new item will benefit you in the long run, and ask them weird stuff about what sort of share options you might get if you buy the product and if they can give you some sort of absurd discount of any sort just because you like the person's tone of voice over the phone. At the end of it all, just hang up. If they call back, deny all knowledge of any conversation you've just had and threaten them with a law suit of some kind if they keep calling you. Third one is put the phone on loudspeaker and switch the TV on to some random news channel and just listen to the hilariousness as they try and have a conversation with the news reader. Yes I've done all of this before with varying degrees of success.
Generally the calls are random people, not sales calls. When people are trying to sell me something I just put the phone down and see how long they talk to themselves.
This all the way. When I get a call selling something, I pretend to try and sell them something. Same if a Jehovah's witness comes to my door. I try to convert them to some obscure religion. Good times.
If they come round with a questionnaire, either have your own prepared first and ask them to complete yours before you complete theirs, stating some sort of contract mumbo jumbo and fill it with really obscure and annoying questions. Or ask them to sign a contract that says they will pay you for your time spent answering their questions, just like on the internet. If they refuse, tell them that they're missing out on a great opportunity and that they'll come to regret it later. [sub]Yes I'm sad enough to have done this too[/sub]
Okay, more venting on my roommate: Last night. Invites 4 friends over from 7 until 12:30 pm (keep in mind this is a small dorm room..). He then says, oh thanks for being cool about it, next time you want friends over just tell me... except he didn't tell me at all. No notification or anything, but it's no big deal, I just have class at 8 tomorrow and have a ton of homework, but nah, no biggie. Yesterday. Watching pulp fiction for the first time. It's an awesome movie unless you have a roommate making comments every 10 seconds, like "remember this, it's a crucial plot point." and whenever I laugh he's adding some smartass comment about how he recommended the movie to me... The entire time I was thinking, "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP." Now, you have to understand where I'm coming from. My brother would literally throw his shoe at my face if I so much as murmured a word while he was watching a movie. Every morning he's been waking up earlier and earlier, mainly due to daylight savings or w/e. His best judgement is to go play starcraft, click the living hell out of the mouse, which inevitably leads to me waking up. This morning at 9:30 he decides to run his vacuum cleaner. I mean, don't you think about other people sleeping? Right now, he's playing music from his computer and tapping his pen or something every 20 seconds. Sorry to have such a (..manly) ***** fest going but MAN. It's just a constant annoyance that's irritating me the mo st. I'm definitely going to tell him to shut up.. Well not exactly that, but I'll tell him to put in his earphones or whatever. This gonna end. >:O
I think it's sabotage time. Get a needle of some description and pierce the speakers on his computer/laptop or whatever he's using, so they don't work. This will eliminate the blaring music problem and force him to use earphones. Next time he brings people over, just walk around in next to nothing until they feel uncomfortable enough to say something or leave. As far as the mouse problem goes, I'm not entirely sure what to do about that. Perhaps dismantle his mouse and disable the clicking part of the button? Don't know if this would work, but it sounds like you're at your wits end at the moment. Only other thing you could do is smack the punk out so he knows who's the alpha male of that particular jungle. Unless he's a big dude. In that case, just stab the motherfucker. Similar effect, but it'll hurt slightly more and he'll definitely get it.
Great suggestions lol. Luckily I'm gone for the weekend to cool some steam. Then I'll be gone for thanksgiving and then a couple weeks for christmas but after that I will go absolutely INSANE without a break. Therefore, sabotage time will be postponed.
If his computer does not have a password, delete system32. If it does have a password, put in random passwords until it's locked.
The ****ing saving system in Just Cause 2. I keep spawning at this Karl guys house. It doesn't let me save my position, only my money and stats like that. Also the parachute, I can't grapple onto anything while using it.