Why is this called pun needle? Because we haven't gotten a thread yet! Yes, yes.. I know that joke was absolutely appalling, but thats what puns are all about man! (Or woman) Anyways, I created this needle for all of you board people with nothing to do (heheh I spelt bored wrong to make another semi-punnish thingy). Here, you can share your puns! Don't be like Charlie Sheen, keep it clean. Here are the rules to keep this needle from becoming Rusty: 1. You may post ONLY puns or replies to another individuals puns. 2. No Racism, Sexism, or any other negative -ism. 3. No spamming. 4. You don't have to be original, but if you come up with a really good one that makes people laugh, I will put it in the *Hall of Fame* 5. No complaining if your stupid pun doesn't get in the hall of fame. 6. Look good while reading this thread. 7. No dying while reading this thread. 8. If you must die while reading this thread, look good while doing it. *Hall of Fame*
The punchlines are in bold to help the unfortunate. I tried to make a joke about penguins, but it didn't fly. I tried to make a joke about that one BP oil spill, but I couldn't cap it off. What do you call two trees that look the exact same? Symmetrees! I don't know much about the ocean, so I won't go into Pacifics.
Please don't use Yellow, some people are still on FH OldSchool or FH Light, and it's impossible to read. Use Blue instead?
It's about time we make a time machine. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Yes, that joke was absolutely punderful. I am liking these so far guys, keep em coming! Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He is alright now.
My friend thinks Lord of the Rings is the greatest series ever, but he really doesn't know what he's tolkien about.
I'm getting really tired and pissed over all these ignorant jokes about the Holocaust, Anne Frankly they're just not that funny.
An intrepid group of explorers were shocked when they happened across a blind T-Rex today. Luckily they managed to escape, one explorer stating, "I dont think he saurus." *rolls eyes at self*
10 best puns ever? A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger." Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!" Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive." Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..... (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to various people, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn't want to be spotted. If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out it could spell disaster.
Oh, god, that was so bad it was good. Just barely though. A neutron walked into a bar and asked the bartender, "how much for a beer?" The bartender replied, "for you? No charge." Two pieces of string walked into a bar and asked for a drink. The bartender refused, saying, "sorry, we dont serve string here." They tried a few more times, but to no avail. Finally, one of them had an idea. He tied himself in a simple knot, frayed his ends up a bit, then went in and asked the bartender again for another drink. "Hey, aren't you that same piece of string from before?" he asked, to which the string replied, "frayed knot!" A diminutive guy walks into a bar, and sees a money-filled jar and a lemon next to it. He asks the burly bartender what it's about. "People bet that they can squeeze more juice out of the lemon after I'm through with it." "I'll give it a try." So the bartender squeezes the lemon to a pulp, then hands it over. The guy squeezes it some more, and, sure enough, manages to get several more drops out. As the bartender hands over the money, he asks, "How did you do that?" "IRS agent." There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary, and those who don't.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat. Calves take well to bottle feeding because one nipple is as good as an udder. There was a sign on the lawn at the drug rehab center that said "Keep off the grass!" Frodo looked at his smoking addiction as a bad hobbit.