What Have Video Games Taught You?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Oli The G, Jul 9, 2011.

  1. Oli The G

    Oli The G Forerunner
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    For me, its that if I have life threatening injuries if I drink a bottle of toilet water i'll be just fine
     
  2. Shanon

    Shanon Loves His Sex Fruits
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    Animal Crossing taught me that loans are awesome.
     
  3. Aschur

    Aschur Wubba lubba dub dub
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    A few things actually:

    Crowbars make excellent weapons. (half-life)
    When there is a zombie outbreak there will be piles of ammunition in rooms that cannot be broken into. (left 4 dead)
    Ghandi is a warmongering *****. (civilization V)
    Even games have drugs in them, and druggies. (bioshock and the elder scrolls series')
    Oh, also, that there is always coins to be found by breaking into peoples houses and trashing all their belongings. (legend of zelda)
     
  4. monkeyrantz

    monkeyrantz Ancient
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    That in fighting games A is always kick, in Bethesda games, jump is always Y. And most importantly, that being shot isn't that bad. My eyes will just bleed momentarily, but then I'll be fine.
     
  5. Shatakai

    Shatakai Ancient
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    All bodily injuries can be healed by devouring a disembodied heart.
     
  6. TantricEcho

    TantricEcho Ancient
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    Freaky genetic experiments live in the tall grass.

    Crashing the worlds fastest and most expensive car headlong into a wall will make for a great story to tell when you walk away from it.

    And that it is possible to take on a large cities entire police force with a baseball bat.
     
  7. Devil95

    Devil95 Ancient
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    Halo 3 taught me that jumping from high places like Rooftops & Bridge don't lead to death! Wait...

    Also you can pop bullets out of your arm after being shot at can heal you... WTF? (Far Cry 2)
     
    #7 Devil95, Jul 10, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2011
  8. Xun

    Xun The Joker

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    Videogames have taught me that if I get mortally wounded and am near death, I can just wait behind some cover for a few seconds and I will heal, that eating fish restores my magical mana, that the first bullet from an AK47 is always the most accurate, people can somehow continue to fight after their various bones have been broken or massive internal damage has occurred, punching someone from behind will kill them, meat-cubes with legs love bandages with feminine qualities and fetus jars wearing top-hats and monocles want to kidnap said bandage women, and finally, if Im driving a stupidly overpowered performance vehicle and am about to or do crash into a wall at a ridiculous speed, I can just rewind time back far enough to avoid the wall. Who needs reality? Games set the rules!
     
  9. Oli The G

    Oli The G Forerunner
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    I also learned that if I push somebody I like off a cliff in a race, they will ask if I am OK (Dirt 2)
     
  10. WWWilliam

    WWWilliam Forerunner

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  11. broccollipie

    broccollipie Ancient

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    Ancient fish from a knocked over trash can is nutritious.
     
  12. Flameblad3

    Flameblad3 Ancient
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    I've learnt that in a person's eye is a thing which shows how many bullets are in a person's gun, where their objective is, a crosshair in the center of their vision which turns green when looking at an ally and red when looking at an enemy. I've learn't that if you steal a fork an entire town will start shooting at you. I've learnt that if you mow down a person's allies from 100 feet away with a minigun, it is likely they'll run at you with a bat. I've learnt that your Internet connection affects your ability to fight a war. I've learnt that if you're shot, the corners of your vision will become bloody, but your body should be able to fix your injuries - whether caused by a 9mm round or 7.62 round or .50 cal bullet - in just a few seconds.
     
  13. GR4V3mind117

    GR4V3mind117 Ancient
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    In all seriousness, video games taught me to read when I was like, 4.
     
  14. Nihlius

    Nihlius Forerunner

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    Video games taught me that if you see a lot of freaky looking creatures, the only thing to do is capture them in impossibly small enclosures and force them to fight each other to the death.

    Also, they taught me that you can make glass that falls up when broken.

    And it's taught me that if you land from a 400 foot drop on a hill at a gradual enough angle, you'll slide along frictionlessly and launch another couple hundred feet at a breakneck speed.
     
  15. boomerdude

    boomerdude Ancient
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    Most people have 3 lives
    You get more points if you kill them at the same time
    blood will magically come off over time
    don't walk in the tall grass unprotected without a monster to help
    when sucked into the digital world stay as a team and don't leave each other
    getting electrocuted, burned doesn't hurt.
    dragon is an element (pokemon wtf)
    ground and rock arn't the same (pokemon wtf)
    water and food are not necessary if you have potions
    there is always a spy and ....
    the cake is a lie
     
  16. Xun

    Xun The Joker

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    You had to say it, didnt you? :p

    Ive also learned;
    it takes roughly 30 seconds to train a convict into a battle-hardened marine;
    birds can cough eggs up with enough force to defeat monsters;
    cheese is impervious to all kinds of munitions;
    monkeys love barrels;
    I can replenish my nitrous oxide reserves by drifting, driving in the wrong lane, causing other cars to crash, drafting, and driving at excessive speeds;
    toads kick some serious ass, so watch out for toads;
    golden weapons are better than regular weapons;
    things that have no use for material goods carry currency;
    zombies eyes glow red from 8pm til 6am;
    armour does nothing for horses and costs ridiculous amounts of money;
    if you live in renaissance time Italy, parkour is a way of life;
    and Ninjas beat everything. Yes, even pirates.

    Most of those are obvious, but I will give out cool points if anyone can guess the games Im talking about.
     
    #16 Xun, Jul 16, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2011
  17. Rorak Kuroda

    Rorak Kuroda Up All Night
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    Video games taught me that it's nearly impossible to swim in deep water.
     
  18. n3rdness

    n3rdness Forerunner

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    Video games taught me that I can punch through trees with my fists, as well as eat raw fish and porkchops without dying of disease.
     
  19. Titmar

    Titmar Le Mar du Teet
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    - killing turtles gives you free money

    - drugs give you super powers

    - fighting and killing innocents and police officers has only one consequence: fun
     
  20. PacMonster1

    PacMonster1 Senior Member
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    • I have learned that the princess is ALWAYS in another castle
    • If you die, you'll respawn in about 10 seconds.
    • Mushrooms will make me larger [sub]or smaller[/sub]
    • Plumbers rarely plumb
    • Princesses are too easy to capture
    • Use bombs wisely
    • Doors are impossible to open until someone else opens them for you
    • All you need in life is a crowbar
    • Get shot 10 times in the face. Feel good as new a minute later.
    • Always aim for the brightest colored spots on an enemy for they are the weak spots
    • Teabags are not just for tea
    • A mage is not the same as a warlock
    • Space marine is the shittiest profession to have. [sub]but the best at the end of the game[/sub]
    • Video games are reeeeeeaaaaaallly racist
    • Video games are reeeeeeaaaaaallly sexist
    • Zombies are slow as f***
    • That race assist does not exist in real life and if you expect to see a line telling you where to go while driving you are in for a surprise
    • Bullet time exists....You're just not fast enough to notice it
    • Pong is the quintessential explanation for existence...if you think about it.
    • Everything must blow up. It's not a just a good idea...it's the law.
    • Your best friend will betray you.
    • Nolan North is every video game character.
    • Who needs a musical instrument when I can hit 5 colored buttons
    • Pacman and Mrs. Pacman are the same. Pacman just likes cross dressing
    • If you eat enough crack balls ghosts will turn blue and you can eat them.
    • The tall skinny piece will never come when you need it
    • All sonic games past 2 suck
    • Link's the dude?!
    • Pink balls of essentially air will eat you and become you.
    • For the horde!
    • Zerg are a bunch of pussies. Protus are where its at.
    • I roll better dice than you in D&D.
    • Mountain Dew and Red Bull form a dynamic duo of diarrhea.
    • Picking oddjob is cheating. Unless your me, then f*** you.
    • Enter god mode, Hold L + R and press A, A, B, A, A, A, A, A
    • Doing a barrel roll is serious business.
    • Merchants sell everything and anything.
    • RIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDGGGGGGGEEEEEE RAAAAAACCCCCEEEER
    • Mudkipz....u liek them
    • You used the masterball on Entei didn't you...noob.
    • Press X to flip elephant.
     
    #20 PacMonster1, Jul 16, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2011

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