QUICK NOTE: Now that I have your attention, I NEED feedback! I would love for this to be the best it can possibly be before it goes LIVE on YouTube (And possibly a theater near you) later this summer. So PLEASE!! POST SOME FEED BACK, RATE THE THREAD. I need some criticism. ~~All Fingers Crossed, GR4V3mind117.~~ Plot Summary A young 8th grade middle schooler, Jake Evera, (Matt McGuire) is stalked by an unusual and eerie high-school student by the name of William, (Chris Moore) a boy who, according to state hospital records, does not even exist. William tries to convince a skeptical Jake that he will unleash an unstoppable army that will kill all humanity, using increasingly dangerous and life threatening tricks to convince Jake. As Jake begins to struggle with William, and William's army drawing closer, as well as a corrupted cop from the future's vile plans becoming reality, Can Jake uncover the shocking twist that awaits in Jake's future? Or will Jake be destroyed along with everything he knows and loves? William decides. Genre Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller. Rating PG-13 For Disturbing Images, Intense Sci-Fi Violence, Brief Strong Lyrics, And Crude Humor Cast Matt M. as Jake Evera The main protagonist of the movie. He is visited and stalked by the mysterious high-schooler William who tries to convince him that William has an army at his disposal ready to fight humanity if Jake doesn't do what William says. Has had a crush on Katy Jones since 5th grade. He carries Mikey's Energy pistol with him at all times after he first encounters William Chris M. as William The main antagonist of the film. He registers at Jake's school in order to tell him that he will unleash an army if he doesn't do what William tells him. Has a crush on Katy Jones __________ as Katy Jones A side protagonist. She tells Jake stuff about William and fights with him. She is Jake's love interest after William uncovers his supernatural origins to Katy. Aaron M. as Zack Prodda Jake's best friend. He helps Jake out and fights with him, As well as (attempts) to defend Jake against William who is too strong for Jake to handle. __________ as Youth Commissioner 626 A corrupted youth cop from 2013 hell-bent on finding and killing William's past self (Jake) upon realizing that even if William is dead in the future, He will just keep coming back unless Jake is killed as well. Commissioner 626 is later revealed to be Zack Prodda's future self. Michael M. as Mikey Jones The science guy. He attempts to explain to Jake how William is able to just vanish and reappear, as well as provides futuristic weapons to fight William with. Director Matt M. Estimated Run-Time About two hours Release Date Summer 2010 Soundtrack Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist - Muse (Title) Waking The Demon - Bullet For My Valentine (Chase Scene) Psychosocial - Slipknot (Fight Scene) Full Moon - Sonata Arctica (Chase Scene) My Curse - Killswitch Engage (Fight Scene) The Spy Hunter - Project 86 (4 v 12 Gun Fight) Snuff - Slipknot (Closing Credits) Word Up - Korn (Closing Credits after Snuff) Bring Me To Life - Evanescence (Rock Band Scene) References Spoiler List of Movie References Spoiler 28 Days, 6 Hours, 42 Minutes and 12 seconds? When informed of William's army, Jake asks if they will be released at this time. Reference From: Donnie Darko Frank At Zack's Costume Party, William shows up dressed as Frank from Donnie Darko. Also, when Jake goes to get some cream soda from the fridge, there is a note on the fridge that says "William was here, went to get more cream soda." which is also another Donnie Darko reference. Reference From: Donnie Darko Heeere's Johnny! While chasing Jake, William says "Heeere's Johnny!" when suddenly appearing in front of a startled Jake. Reference From: ??? List of Video Game References Spoiler Rock Band At Zack's Costume Party, several people are seen playing Rock Band 2 playing the song "Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker Jr. Afterwards, they are seen playing "Thriller" by Michael Jackson, despite the song not being playable on the game. Reference From: Rock Band 2 Can We Just Play Super Smash Brothers Now? At Zack's Costume Party, a guest dressed as Mario asks if they can play Super Smash Brothers after (apparently) waiting quite a while. Reference From: Super Smash Brothers Who's The Sexy Purple Chick? At Zack's Costume Party, a guest, while playing Halo 3 asks who the sexy purple chick is. Reference From: Halo Series
Seems to much like Donnie Darko....owai I suggest taking out the end of the world plotline, aswell as the futuristic society, and make it into a kind of Fight Club like scenario. Make it into like a psychological deal, with William as some sort of second personality, making him commit the bad acts. Don't try to pursue to many otherworldy ideals, I think you should keep it mainly inside the minds of humans.
Well, William already is, but in a physical form. And William telling Jake to commit crimes would be WAY to much like Donnie Darko
Technically, if going by your major spoiler, then only William should be hurt when Jake is. Not the other way around. Spoiler If your past self gets his hand chopped off, then the future self will lose the hand, but if your future self loses his hand, then it hasnt happened yet to the past self, so nothing would affect the past self... sorta like the movie Frequency.
Spoiler Being that you've just travelled in time, I believe you would become detached from the timeline. I don't believe a time traveller would be effected by the Past, as he would come from a separate timeline regardless. That's my thoughts on that overused time-travel scenario, ignoring two specific thoughts of mine that would just complicate things.
Thinking it over some more, if in the past, you get scuffled up a bit, some bruises or a nosebleed like you mentioned, that wouldnt even transfer to the future, because by the time it would reach the future self, itd have happened way in his past, so itd have healed. Only something like a lost limb or scar could register in the future self...
Updated. Added a list of references to other films and games. and basically took all the comments into account.
Wait, so are you making this movie? The best of luck to you... Great storyline, hit me up when it's done, I'd love to watch it!
Alright. Fixed it. Thanks! and yeah it'll probably be on YouTube in 20 10-Minute parts. Not including the credits.
Buy a copyright on the script before you do anything... Then work on taking it to film festivals depending on the quality of it... You could take this a lot bigger than youtube.
If the story is good, and you pull it off right. It's better to copyright it anyways, it would kill you inside to see the next blockbuster to be eerily similar to your "youtube movie".
The first step you want to do, once you finish your script of course, is to register it with the Writer's Guild of America. It's pretty cheap ($20) and it's definitely worth it to protect your intellectual property. You can register it here. Then, you're going to want to revise the **** out of this thing. Get your friends, parents, teachers, whoever to read it and ask their opinion. Join an online screenwriting community and ask for their input. Triggerstreet.com, inktip.com, and storylink.com are all very good. Lastly, enter the script in some contests OR try to film it yourself. Withoutabox.com is a great place to check for festival and contest info. You guys seem pretty young, so you could probably enter some young writers' contests and get some grant money to make this movie. Good luck.
This post helps me a ton as well... I am currently writing two movies that I wish to do the same with. Thank you.
No problem. If this is really something you enjoy, I suggest that when you apply for college you look into NYU's dramatic writing program; that's where I'll be next year. It's one of the few dramatic writing schools in the US, and it's probably the best out of all of them.
I am into writing, directing, graphic design, video production, all that stuff. I find myself having a hard time choosing(but I'm a freshman so I have some time to come to a conclusion.) Best of luck to you in NYU, I hope to see some works written by you in the future.
Alright, thanks for the links Poztar. We're filming this ourselves and we'll use some pretty awesome costumes... And thanks. We're gonna need it.
Best of luck to you guys... and uh, any ETA on those pictures I requested? I'm eager to get to work on this poster. EDIT: and about your soundtrack, I would go around emailing the bands or their record labels asking for permission... You do not want to end up with a law suit. If you can't get permission for some stuff then I'd work on either writing your own or finding free to use music(Might I suggest Freeplay Music?)
Ooh. Yeah, I'll work on that. What I'm worried about is if they'll take me seriously if I ask them on Facebook or something. :lol: And I still need to contact Chris, Aaron, Michael, and Ashley about the pics