This weekend has brought about an entire philosophical movement inside my own head. It's kind of hard for me to explain, but it has taken me from being depressed to being one of the happiest people alive. To start, I no longer see myself as a part of a whole. I am an individual and what I feel is not based off of what any other living thing in the world wants me to feel. In our long history human beings have developed an extensive system of social standards. These standards tell us how we should act, feel, think, and set an intricate decorum for the majority. However, the human brain is much too complex to be regulated based off of a correlation of other human beings. So what does this mean? Let's say for example that a close relative of yours has recently passed away. This person meant a lot to you, and you become sad. But why are you sad? Without thinking one could easily say "Because someone important to me just died." In reality, you are only sad because if you weren't sad, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself. Based off of what your morals are (which actualy they aren't your morals, they are what the past, as well as what other humans have decided is right has led you to value) you are led to think that when something bad happens you should be sad, and you can find comfort in this. So if somebody asks you how you are feeling at a time like this, you tell them you are sad, and that person understands. But if you were to tell them you were happy, they would think something was wrong with you. I have personally experienced a similar situation when my dog died this summer. I had my dog dodger since I was 7, and I loved that dog, and when he passed away I started to feel sad. When he was being buried, one of the neighbors that was helping dig the hole asked me how I was and without thinking I said good (a natural response). He gave me a funny look and I thought about it, and to be honest, I wasn't really feeling all that bad. Sure I loved that dog, but mourning would bear me no benefit. I have highlighted in bold what I believe is the main reason for 99% of the worlds deppression. What I am trying to say is that we as humans actually have the ability to control our emotions. I know this to be true, because right now, I have not a single reason to be happy, but I am in one of the best moods of my life. Any thoughts?
I kind of agree. There are a lot of emotional responses engraved into how we think we are supposed to feel, and in many cases, the responses can be fake, or the product of trying to act normal. Emotional responses can be shut off to an extent, or they can be changed by looking at the situation in a new concept. People need to stop being so god dam cliche'.
Ok so you're happy that your dog died. More power to you I supose, no reason to be sad over a dead animal. Not quite sure of what the point is besides sad people are sad because they think they should be. People are sad when they loose anything that brings them joy its natural. Chemical reactions connect happiness with things that bring us joy and when you loose that joy bringing item then you get sad chemicals. This is like any drug addiction when you don't have the drug youre sad.
Thats being optomistic you just are looking on the bright side. well you may have lost a dog but you can get a new one type of deal.Its like old video games.
Ah fantastic I always wondered if i was to be the only one to come to these conclusions that are really so obvious. Everyone complains that 'im sad'...and 'im depressed'....it actually almost bothers me. They can simply just stop feeling sad or depressed. People do everything they do in order to fit in and be what others expect them to be. It seems you must be kind of a loner, like me, in order to have made these realizations because from what i observe, only people who tend to be loners actually think from time to time lol. What he's really trying to say is that you are, in fact, in control of your own emotions but in order to fit in, you let them control you.
I'm pretty sure if my dad or my mom died, or my uncle or aunt, I would be sad, not because it's a social standard it's because i've just lost someone I had a fairly serious connection with. Social connections with people aren't easy to make, and when they suddenly just abruptly end, I cry because i've just lost one of these connections. You are thinking too much about it.
so what you are saying is, you shouldnt think about it? You just DO it, like everyone else does, just to fit in? Who says everyone else is right? What if, in fact, everyone is doing it wrong and you are just following it because you want to hop on the same boat as everyone else? Because thats simply the fact of it. Everyone IS doing it wrong. They allow standards, expectations, and emotions to run their lives.
Did I just say you should DO it? I explained I do it because i've just lost a connection to someone, and these connections aren't easy to make. lrn2read thanks. anyway: you are not a unique or special snowflake.
Well, if you dont think about something, and continue doing it instead, how is that not DOING it? And because you lost a connection to someone doesnt mean you should be sad. Thats just what you believe is the correct response because everyone else does it. What if the correct response for loss is in fact happiness, or anger? Or even optimally no emotional response or a controlled one. and hell YES i am BISH
Who said I didn't think? I said I do it because so and so. I've explained my reasoning behind my actions, and thats somehow not thinking? I said I cry when someone dies because i've lost a connection to somebody. If making a relationship with a friend or a family member was so easy, everyone would have a lot more friends. And the tighter the relationship is, the more you feel that you've lost. You may do it another way like cut yourself, or some ****, but who are you to say it's an incorrect response to cry when someone dies. Grow up, who are you to say what's an incorrect response to a death? You think people cry at funerals and close family members cry when someone close to them dies because they are just following a "social standard"? I hope when you die, everyone is happy that you died. Is that the emotion you expect?
I am sad because I am in love with a girl who I believe contemns me. This is not because that is the normal thing to do, it is because I have been trying to become at least friends with this girl for over half of a year, and I am becoming despondent in my efforts as she continues to show her clear dislike.
Not what I was trying to imply at all. However, wouldn't it be selfish to want people to be sad for you?
No i'm not implying I expect people to be sad for me when I die. But would it be so nice if everyone just kept on living their lives and didn't feel that small pinch of sadness because you died. What i'm trying to say is, people cry when someone dies because you lose something. You want it back. When I take a game from a toddler, he wants it back. He'll throw a tantrum, cry, roll on the floor, scream and yell until he gets it back. And I can give it back to him whenever he wants. When you take someones husband or wife or daughter or son from somebody, you can't give it back. That's why you cry. It's not the same thing as losing like a house and you feel bad but you go back to work to get another one. You can't get somebody back. So to say you're happy to lose somebody to me, is just kind of silly.
Again you have missed my point completely. I AM NOT saying you should be happy BECAUSE of a loss. I am just saying that being sad will get you nowhere and is by all means unnecessary
yes. exactly what i am saying. Sure, you can be sad and cry when you lose something, but what have you accomplished? You've now lost two things: the thing you originally lost, and the time you wasted unnecessarily being controlled by your base emotional response.
I agree it's unnecessary and will get you nowhere, but the way i'm reading it is that you're saying you SHOULDNT BE SAD and that's somehow made your day brighter thinking that. Ok you've lost some time, but time spent usually as a day to you. Almost like a day given to you by an unwanted happening (i.e. a death) so you get some time to just take it easy for a day.